us ➳ jack gilinsky

⠀ ⠀xxix. the store - part three february 24

     Ashley and Jack spent roughly fifteen minutes searching for something to lay on for the night, and quickly began to grow agitated. Though it was a convenience store, there wasn't much to choose from, especially since they didn't want to actually open anything and cause them to be in any more trouble than they were already expecting to be in.

       "There's nothing, it's fine." Ashley huffed, walking back towards the aisle they were previously in. "I'll just use the towel, there was another one. I can grab it for you."

      "It's fine," Jack said. "I don't need it."

       "Are you sure?" She asked, turning to face him, only being granted the slight silhouette outline of his body.

      Jack nodded, "Yea, I'm good."

       Ashley nodded, an awkward silence filling the air between the two of them. Of course, neither had any idea what to talk about, but at the same time, they had a million things they wanted to say to eachother. Ashley wanted to say something, anything. But she couldn't. She wasn't really mentally, or physically prepared. She had somehow just been able to simply deal with the fact that they were both in the same room together for more than an hour.

       Jack began to talk again, a sound so sweet and improvable it disturbed her in a way the she could not understand.

      "My shirt looks nice on you." He blurted timidly, slightly biting the inside of his mouth.

       Ashley looked down, her heart beginning to race, realizing that she was, indeed, wearing Jacks shirt.

       "I uh- didn't even realize I was wearing it." She said, trying to be serious, although, self consciously feeling as if she was failing.

       "Oh. I didn't think you'd still have it."

        "Uh- it was just in my closet." Ashley replied quickly, her voice cracking in the process. "I just needed something to wear." She muttered, slightly tugging on the hem of the shirt.

        "I remember leaving it there, you wouldn't take it off." Jack slightly smiled to himself. "Do you remember?" He inquired.

       Ashley's mood instantly changed at the thought, and she could not budge. And for some particular reason, she could not breath. She could feel her emotions crashing down before her strong facade, filling every corner of her body with pure entity and sadness.

       "I do. But why does it matter anymore?" She muttered, folding her arms in front of her. "That part of our lives is done and over with..."

       "I know." Jack sighed. "But I don't want it to be."

      "Well you fucked it up." She spit, her eyes narrowing at him. "We shouldn't be talking about this anyway."

       "I know but I-"

       "No." She said harshly, getting up from the floor once again, picking up the towel and walking away from Jack. "I don't like this, I can't handle it right now. Just leave me alone, all right?"

        She walked around the end of the isle and sat in front of the cashier counter, placing the towel back on the ground beside her. She then repositioned herself so she was laying on the floor with her arm tucked under the back of her head. Her eyes were fixated on the shelf across from her as she took a deep breath and slowly let it out, barely whispering to herself. "I just want to get out of here."

       She thought of her and jack, and how everything was so different now, and her heart began to ache. Soon after, her throat began to tighten and tears started to prick the sides of her eyes. She couldn't hold it in any longer, and that was when she began to cry. Although Jack was just a little ways away from her, she cried. It wasn't just normal crying though, it was full out sobbing and she couldn't catch her breath. It was if all the air inside her lungs was being squeezed out of her and she was just left with empty hollow feeling afterward.

       From a few aisles over, Jack heard and instantly got up and bolted towards where she was, only to see her lying on the floor, her arms wrapped around her stomach and her eyes squeezed shut tight.

       The light from outside being illuminated through the window shone on her body perfectly, giving him and exact view on what was going on, and instantly and all at once, Jack felt guilty. He felt guilty for being the one to cause her this pain and he felt guilty for ever letting her get this bad again. So he trudged over to her and lightly picked her up. She began to squirm and yell incoherent words at him, but he ignored her and set her back against the side of the desk.

       "Ashley," He inquired, his hands lightly gripping her shoulders. "Open your eyes, look at me."

      She ignored his plea and continued to cry, trying to forget that he was once again in her presence.

       "Please," He begged, "You're going to hyperventilate and pass out and I can't have that happen while we're locked in here."

       He sat there for a moment, watching her struggle to breath before he did the one thing he knew always used to work. Thinking about their past hurt too much, knowing that it could never be the same, but he ignored the feeling and pulled her body against his, wrapping his arms securely around her torso.

       She yelled muffled words at him and tried to push him away, but he didn't budge. He knew she needed to calm down, so he just held her. Their position continued for few minutes before she finally calmed down, her breathing going back to normal.

        He then pulled away from to look into her eyes, swollen and red. She stared back at him, hurt written all over her face. Jack quickly opened his mouth to talk, only to shut it right after, finding that he had nothing to say.

       A few minutes went by, and they both just sat there. But as soon as Jack was about to try to speak again, Ashley beat him.

        "Don't Jack, don't say anything. I'm done, I appreciate you doing that, but I didn't need your help." Ashley began, pulling on the sleeves of the shirt she was wearing. "I don't need you anymore, I've done fine without you. In fact, I don't even want to be near you. I just want to get out of here and go home and pretend I never even saw you. You weren't there before when I needed someone, so why would you bother being here now? After everything you've caused me! No, it doesn't work that way. I don't want to be talking to you right now, I can't even talk to you without wanting to break down."

      She let all the out in a huff, quickly taking a deep breath before continuing. "Fuck you, Jack. You don't care about me, and I'm fine with that, I can live. Now can you just leave me alone until someone comes in the morning and we can get out of this fucking place!" She said, slightly raising her voice.

       Jack sat there staring at her for a moment. He was hurt, and at a loss of words. He knew she was right, so he nodded, picking himself up off the ground and walking back to where he was before.

       He sat down and shook his head at himself, angry for being such an idiot. He couldn't fathom why he was such an idiot and left her in the first place, and all he felt was regret pricking at every inch of his body. So he lay his head down on, and tried to let sleep overtake his body.

       Ashley was still sitting against the desk, trying to regain her breath. She felt stupid for breaking down in front of him, and at the same time was surprised she was able to say that to Jack, but also, she was angry at herself. There was something in her that just wanted to run into Jacks arms and forgive him, never letting go again. But the other part of her knew she couldn't, especially after everything they've been through. She repositioned herself once again so her head was on the towel and she the ceiling.

       She knew Jack was trying, and that made her angry, mainly because she wanted nothing in the world besides to forgive him and go back to normal. But she couldn't, and she knew that.

       As the minutes ticked by and she lay in the dark, sleep was beginning to take over her body. And without even realizing it, she quietly whispered into the air. "I still love you." Before slowly, and then all at once, letting the world fade away into darkness, her body becoming numb and sweet, something that she felt was comforting.