us ➳ jack gilinsky

iii.

January, 29, 2013

Dear Jack,

It's been another week since you left, marking five weeks now. I don't know how I've gone this long without your presence, knowing you'll most likely never come back. But I tend to think it's because I pretend to think that you're on a vacation, eagerly waiting for us to be reunited again. I also tend to think that maybe that's what may make it harder for me though...

Today I was thinking of the day we first met. How I would give anything to go back to that day and do it all again. I still remember it like yesterday.

It was March 27th, the sun was out, and it was a cool spring day. Me and Amber had tickets for magcon, but they ended up being fake.

I still remember the feeling I had when the guards wouldn't let us in. I can remember how my heart shattered into a million pieces, giving me a feeling of emptiness and disappointment.

I'm so damn grateful for the girl who was standing ahead of us in line though, the one named Iva. She was so kind and caring. I remember how when she got inside, the first thing she did was go to you and Cameron, explaining what had happened. I remember how she told us that she managed to talk to you guys before the show and somehow get the both of you come outside with her, and surprisingly, letting us in. She was so kind for doing that, Fuck I wish I still had her number.

Anyway, that's besides the point. I still remember the moment I saw her come out with you and cameron following behind her, a huge smile on her face. Mine and Ambers eyes filled with tears as she pointed to us, whispering something in your direction. I was confused, and worried that you'd tell us to leave. But boy was I wrong.

You walked right up to us, engulfing us in your arms. I remember the first time I felt your body wrapped around mine.

When you pulled away, you gently wiped my tears. "There's no reason to cry, babe. It's okay," you had whispered to me, gently hugging me again. That feeling when you looked into eyes and told me that you were going to let us in with you is irreplaceable.

That was so sweet of you. I was so happy. It was the best day of my life. I met everyone, and it was absolutely electrifying. Best of all, though, I met you, and god knows that was the most important thing that has ever happened to me. You were so kind. I knew instantly, that I had fallen for you, and that there was no way in hell I would ever be able to get over you in a million years.

I miss that day, Jack. We were all so happy and carefree. Neither of us had a clue that we would end up together.

You have no idea how bad I wish we could replay it all, just do it all over again. Thank-you, thank-you for being the kind person you are and thank-you coming out, letting me and Amber in. I wouldn't change it for anything. Never.

Love always,
Ashley