us ➳ jack gilinsky

xxiii.

February 21, 2014

Dear Jack,

       Being around everyone has made me feel alive again. It's like I can feel an elation pumping through my veins, like few holes in my heart had been filled with joy again. I really haven't been this happy in a while, months really. And it's extremely peculiar for me, mostly because one moment I felt as if I was suffocating in my own skin, but then the next I felt as if nothing was ever wrong.

       Maybe it's because I'm different, as so are all of you, but yet we all seemed to fit together like a puzzle. I had felt incomplete for as long as I can remember, but then you guys appeared into my life. Before I knew it, you and your friends made me feel utterly complete, like I was a missing piece to your puzzle. Somehow all of us individuals seemed to unite as one.

       I don't know how it happened, but that's the thing. It happened without us even knowing. And I admire you guys. All of your flaws and all of your essences. Even despite all of the misunderstandings that have happened throughout our time of knowing each other. You guys had saved me from myself, you had brought me back from the depths of unwillingness and filled my heart with prosperity.

      Anyway, despite how much fun I had last night, you were still there in the back of my mind. You are not a wound to me, but a scar. You somehow unknowingly took control of how I acted both emotionally and physically. Trust me when I say I do not mean that in a dreadful way. What I'm trying to say is that you are a permanent scar of my happiness. Reminding me of what I once had, and how happy I once truly used to be.

       All of you are the light in my life, my source of joy. And even though you are not giving me joy any longer, this pain which you have inflicted upon me is a reminder of what I once had. No one could ever take that away from me.

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Yours truly,

Ashley
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