The Life Names Happiness.

30- The limit of all three of us

Ming's line.

I never know the way to go back P'Kit's house is too long today. I really want to say something to break this silent atmosphere but somehow I can't say out my words, you can image that there seems to be something is stucked at my throat and it's hurt, yeah very hurt even I can't say anything.

Finally we arrive and after we walk into the house, Moew excuse everyone to go back her room with a sad face on Moew. Everyone is considering what the reason is.

Grandma: "What happen to Moew, Kit? Grandma asked with worry face and also looked at me to find an answer from me.

P'Kit: "We also don't know grandma, we also asked Moew but she said it's nothing, she only feels tired." Kitkat replied for both of us.

P'Kim: "It's weird, herebefore Moew is always abundant energy even she got sickness but today her spirit is down totally." He said while shaking his head.

P'Kit: "P'Sop, please make a hot milk for Moew." P'Kit asked his servant also left me standing at the door and went to kitchen with his servant for checking the milk before the servant brings it to Moew.

Ming: "I must to leave grandma, P'Kim." I talked while wai to them but not Kitkat, I didn't want to interrupt him.

I really can't stand there to watch Kitkat's caress actions for Moew anymore. I need to leave, my legs feel very heavy now, it's heavy as my heart. I want to cry but I can't. You know this feeling is really terribly, I force to hide this terrible feeling while it is killing me from inside. I have just arrived at my car then other hand is pulling my arm, it makes me turn back and I see Kitkat is looking at me with his sorry eyes.

P'Kit: "Ming, I'm sorry, I don't mean to ignore you, I just feel Moew is acting weird, I just..." I cut off his words.

Ming: "No need to explain P', I understand but ..." I stopped my words in middle.

P'Kit: "But what? Ming, tell me what you are thinking, don't misunderstand, don't reaction like this to me, it makes me worry, Ming."

Ming: "I want you answer one my question honestly." I turned to look into P'Kitkat's eyes.

Kit: "Yeah, I will, what you want to know, Nong?"

Ming: "Who do you really love now, Moew or me, P'?"

Kitkat is frozen when he hears my question, he can't answer, I think the most frightening moment has come in my life. I can't continue being here and looking at him anymore, my mind tell me that I need to go before everything become worse. Yeah, I am a person who is asking but I am also a person who is scaring to hear his answer, so I rush to my car and open the door to get in but P'Kitkat stop me opening the door by covering his body in front of the door while still looking deep into my eyes.

Kit: "Ming, please wait..." I cut his words.

Ming: "P', let me go for now, I need time to cool me down, I am not suitable for talking now, don't let me lose my control P', I will meet you after I am back normal, please P'" I talked to Kitkat with my serious face while my tears were flowing unawareness, and I also step back 1 step far away from Kitkat.

Kit: "Ming,..." he only called my name then step aside to avoid giving way to me.

I really don't intend to get mad with my Kitkat or anything else. I just act like that because there are a lot of feelings which is tearing my heart. I step a little far away from Kitkat, it doesn't mean I hate him or anything, I really want to hug him tightly at that time but I can't because I think I will lose my control which can make me force him to follow me and lock him in a place where only me can see him. Yeah, the place he is only belongs to me. Besides that, the smell of perfume of Moew still remains on his body, so it makes I remember today's moment when my Kitkat is holding the girl he loves in front of me. This is like rubbing salt into my heart, both of reason don't allow me to stay close to Kitkat because I don't want to hurt him, don't want to make him scare me, don't want he hates me and so on. But this doesn't mean I will let him go, I just need time to cool my head and thinking about the best way to have him in my arms without hurting him, I don't care the feelings of anyone else anymore, only him in my mind now. The final way, if everyone wants to separate us, I will take Kitkat with me to other place where nobody can find out us and live our life but I only use this final method when I have no other choice.