Mr. Han's Love Project (Jumin x Jaehee)

30: Leaving Him.

This is, like, the longest story I've written. Honestly. Thirty chapters is probably the farthest I've gotten. Wow that's bad lolololol I should do better. There will be a couple other chapters after this one, don't worry. I'm not giving up on this yet, I ave the ending all planed out. Anyways, enjoy, I guess? Lol

Jaehee pushed away from Zen as soon as she could, but it was too late, Jumin had already seen it. Time basically froze. Jaehee was just stuck, unable to move, unable to remove her eyes from Jumin's. She couldn't really describe what she had seen in them. Hurt, anger, fear, betrayal, regret, sadness. Maybe all of the above.

Jaehee, though, had never been angrier in her life. She didn't know who she was angry at — Zen, Jumin, herself, but it didn't matter. She was just angry. The sort of angry a two year old feels before it kicks its feet against the wall because it is just simply not fair. Jaehee's life was not fair. This wasn't fair. Couldn't she just be with Jumin without something bad happening? Without him hurting someone or Zen admitting feelings at the wrong time? She didn't care. She didn't know. All this time she thought she wanted to go back to Paris, but she realized this was untrue. She wanted to go home. She wanted to merely be an assistant and not have to deal with these feelings.

She didn't question why Jumin hadn't hurt Zen yet, or how he hadn't said anything, or how Zen hadn't put his two-cents-worth in. Jaehee slid off the bed.

"I want to go home." She said to Jumin, her head down as she left Zen's room. She didn't look up or listen to see Jumin's response. When she got back to her own room, she went into the bathroom, locked the door, and pressed her back against it. She turned the tap on very quickly so it would drown out her crying as she slid down to a sitting position in front of the door.

Why was everything so unfair? And why... why couldn't she make up her mind? Jumin was something she never would have never guessed, Zen was a dream come true. Maybe it would all be better if she went home on her own. If she just... left. Did anyone really want her there? Was she just hurting people? Maybe she was. A part of her cursed herself for ever agreeing to this trip. She wanted to go home. Most of all, she didn't even want to exist. She knew that she wasn't the only one who didn't want her to exist. She knew that Jumin's father, Mr. Chairman, held a grudge against her too. She buried her face into her knees as a light knock came at the door.

"Jaehee..." Jumin whispered through the door, his voice full of hurt. Jaehee let out a sob. "Don't cry." "I didn't kiss him. He kissed me." Jaehee blurted out. What was she, scared for him to think she had kissed Zen back? What was she really feeling like? Why were her emotions and her thoughts at two different ends of the rope here?

She turned off the tap. Opened the door. Jumin was just standing there, eyes soft and glistening with tears, and everything in Jaehee's mind told her to slap him but everything in her heart told her to hug him. She ignored both.

"It's getting late," she said. It was only nine. "I'm going to go to bed." Jumin nodded, then attempted to hug Jaehee. Jaehee moved away so all Jumin did was brush his hand against her arm. She got her things and got ready for bed.

She took a small nap. It was 11 when she woke up. She got her things together and got dressed. She heard bickering in the room over. Zen and Jumin. She listened in while she wrote Jumin a note.

"Dude, listen, you're going to end up killing her."
"I need her Zen, this is more then you could ever know!"
"Yeah, more then I should know, too. Is it an assistant kink?"
"Zen, with her I feel stable."
"You're not stable."
"But she makes me feel that way."
"That doesn't make sense."
"Because you don't understand."
"Dude, that doesn't means she loves you, it means she wants to help you."
"She loves me."
"Are you sure?"
"..."
"Exactly. Give her time, she knows who she wants."
"Right..."

Jaehee didn't know what she wanted, she didn't even know what to even think anymore. She got her things and left quietly.

***

When Jumin got back to the room, it was too dark to see anything. He didn't want to wake Jaehee up, so he refrained from turning on the light. He walked over to Jaehee's bed, sitting on the edge.

"I'm not afraid of losing you anymore, I'm afraid of keeping you." He said in a quiet tone. "I need to know if you love me. If you're having trouble with that, we'll go back to how we used to be. I just need to know that you'll be there for me. I need to know that you'll help me. If it turns out you do love me, you know I'll love you in return. If it turns out you don't, I'll still always love you but I'll keep myself controlled. Okay?" He reached out to Jaehee's bedsheets. Empty. He flicked on the light. She wasn't there. He checked the bathroom. She wasn't there either, but when he came back he noticed that there was a note on his bed. He picked it up.

j̸u̸m̸i̸n̸ Mr. Han,

I'm sorry. I can't do this. I understand this is for the company but I have to go home before I lose my mind. Everything is so screwed up... including how much I love you. I don't want these feelings. I don't even deserve you. You're so different, rich and handsome and cold and s̸e̸x̸y̸. But you've got a soft side. You're emotional, loving, and... lost. I want to help, but I'm not capable of it. I can't help you through everything because I don't know what to do.
This was all a freak accident, mainly on my part. I'm sorry. Even you said in Paris it was ridiculous for us to be in love. I agree. It is. Besides, all this was just a project, and it went wrong. We'll go back and fix everything. Address each other as Assistant and Mr. . I am okay with this, and I'm sure this is what you wanted. This never happened, okay? We can fix this. If we can't, I understand. It will be awkward and I know you'll probably have the mind to fire me, but I'll still be here. To help.

Jaehee Kang

I'm leaving it there because I just got home, I'm super sick, and I need some time to myself. Not writing, But... sleeping, or something. Stress eating, I don't know. Anyways, I love you guys 💛💛💛~TheWeeWeeaboo