Crookedly in Love {a Shawn Mendes Fan Fiction}

44. Searching for Lies

Shawn and I got back to the hotel late at night. The gala had stretched on, and I had smiled for far too long. Pretending like Shawn was the love of my life. That he and I got along great.

Everyone who met us was curious to know about our story. The best friends who fell in love. The magical duo who could write hit songs together.

I exhaled with relief once I was back in my own hotel room. No more masks. Shawn and I barely uttered goodnight to one another.

I checked my phone, and I had saw the missed call notification from Brad. I decided to ignore it for now. It was best not to get involved with more complicated relationships.

The next morning, I went down to scout out the breakfast options, when I heard my name from behind.

Selena was sitting at a table with her laptop. I walked over to her, smiling.

"Hey girl," she greeted. "Sit! I just ordered my eggs."

I sat down with her. I couldn't believe she was sitting across from me. I mean, this was every person's dream. She seemed so normal.

I still felt weird about her calculated stares she gave us last night, but maybe I was overthinking things. I tended to do that a lot.

"So, did you have fun last night?" Selena asked.

"Yeah, it was super fun," I answered.

"Taylor and I got fries after," she laughed. "Did you and Shawn hang out afterwards?"

"Um, no," I hesitated. "We were just so tired."

"Yeah, makes sense," she responded. There was that strange stare again. "I love you guys together. I think you both are so adorable."

"Thanks," I laughed nervously.

"So, wait, tell me. When did you guys officially get together?"

"Um, we got together..." I trailed off. There was a lot of back and forth in the beginning, and I had to get the timeline right. "Shortly after we went on tour with the Vamps and Fifth Harmony."

"He initiated?"

"Yeah."

"Did you guys ever go through a rough patch? Because of the media and stuff."

"Um, sort of," I alluded. "It was hard at first because everyone was watching your every move."

"Tell me about it," she responded. "It's like living under a microscope. Like you're under observation for a science experiment at all times."

"Exactly."

"Yeah, like what are her eating patterns? Sleeping habits? Her favourite places to go?"

I laughed. "Yeah, Shawn and I had some arguments in public and then they would be broadcasted the next day. You just forget people are trailing you."

"It's weird," she nodded. "Did anyone ever catch wind of what you were arguing about?"

"No, thank God," I said, laughing. She laughed too, but her laughter was uneasy. Maybe mine was too.

"Shawn seems great though. He seems to worship you."

I snorted. "Not always."

"Hmm?" she asked, intrigued.

"Oh, nothing," I said. "He definitely is great now. He definitely used to take me for granted in our relationship though."

Now, I was speaking easily, forgetting about public truth versus actual.

"He did? I thought you guys said Shawn was the one who was in love with you secretly. That you kind of took him for granted."

My cheeks burned.

"I feel like the feeling went back and forth," I said, nervously. I didn't want my voice to shake because that would be a dead giveaway that I was lying.

What was wrong with me? I had to be more careful. She nodded, letting it go.

"Ah, yeah, for sure," she said. "I have to use the ladies' room. Be back in a second."

As she got up and left, her laptop screen flickered with a new message. My eyes flit towards it, and I saw an article of Shawn and myself up. I narrowed my eyes in suspicion.

Why was she doing her research on us?

I took a sip of water the waitress poured for me, and I stewed in this feeling of self-consciousness. We carried on through breakfast like I saw nothing. But doubt and suspicion creeped into the back of my mind.

*

I was about to meet up with Shawn to practice for the tour that night. I was going to tell him what I saw on Selena's computer.

Something was not sitting right with me. She was snooping for something. Or she wanted something. Or she just wanted Shawn.

All of these things were tumbling around in my mind, and I didn't know how to bring it up to him. Usually, I would feel comfortable approaching him. But seeing as we barely talk these days, I felt uneasy.

When I walked into the studio, I heard laughter. I furrowed my eyebrows as I walked in. Lo and behold, Selena was there sitting next to Shawn. She was carrying a cup of tea and wearing a large oversized sweater, and she still looked like a model.

I rolled my eyes to myself. Something in the pit of my stomach roared.

"Hey guys," I tried to say calmly.

Selena and Shawn both turned to me. She and he were smiling wide.

"Hi Jules!" Shawn said. Selena waved.

"Hey," I said again.

"Well, I'll let you guys get to your writing," Selena said, getting up.

I don't know what willed me to do this, but I followed her out.

"Hey, Selena, wait up."

She slowed her pace, and I walked out with her. She looked at me with a smile, but it didn't quite reach her eyes.

I didn't mean to confront her. But something was blazing inside of me that this was not right. Or she had ulterior motives.

"Sorry, I just," I faltered. "I don't know, I just wanted to say that I don't want there to be any weirdness between us."

I didn't exactly sound intimidating.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

Her head tilted appropriately in a confused manner, but I could tell she was nervous.

"I just, I mean, I don't know. Lately, I've been feeling some sort of tension."

"I don't know what you're talking about," she replied.

"Selena, come on," I said. Not in a mean way. Just in a 'let's not play these games' way.

"Julia..."

"I saw your computer screen this morning. You were reading about me and Shawn."

Her face flushed. "Oh, I..."

"I'm just saying...I mean, I don't know if you like him, but..."

She studied my face. She looked like she were going to divulge a huge secret. She looked like she had something she wanted to say and she so furiously wanted to let me know. But, that look went away, as she thought better of it.

"I'm sorry, Julia," she said. "You're right. I've been flirting with him, and that's not right. I'll stop."

I smiled at her.

"I like you a lot, and I want to keep hanging out. Okay? Let's just forget about this," she said.

This conversation was so civil, so normal. It was so normal, it was weird. I nodded, and we hugged.

But something seemed off to me. In the weeks to come, I would find out the real truth she was hiding.