Crookedly in Love {a Shawn Mendes Fan Fiction}

30. Different Pages

We were sitting in the broadcasting studio, where we were on live radio. Shawn sat farther away from me than usual. We didn't say a word to each other as we were being mic'd up.

Dylan and Molly, the radio hosts, were talking to us individually. I appreciated that, so I didn't have to speak to him. I was still steaming from his comments earlier. How dare he accuse me of just dropping everything for him.

As if I didn't have a say in my own feelings. What a load of bull.

The Production Coordinator walked into the room to signal we were live in ten seconds.

I moved my chair closer to Shawn because the microphone was there. He looked over at me, and he raised an eyebrow. I simply smiled coolly.

"Live in 3, 2, 1..."

"Hey there, we are back with Shawn Mendes and Julia Peters," Molly greeted. "We will be taking callas a little later, but for now, we're just going to catch up with them and play some games."

"So, tell me about you guys. How did this relationship start? How did you guys get used to being followed? Did that take a toll on your relationship?" Dylan pondered.

"Whoa, let them answer one at a time," Molly laughed.

Shawn chuckled. "Julia, why don't you take this one?"

He looked over at me, and I wanted to roll my eyes. He just wanted to hear me say nice things about him and it was annoying.

But, Andrew was watching. Everyone was watching. This is the price I had to pay—had to bottle it all in.

"Sure," I said, kindly. "Well, we first started off as best friends. He moved next door to me when I was twelve. And, I mean I guess I watched him date all these girls—"

Shawn snorted involuntarily.

"And I never thought much of us as a couple. I thought we would always remain the friend zone, you know?"

"The dreaded friend zone," Dylan laughed.

"Exactly," I responded. "So, I had no idea that he'd been secretly...pining for me."

I could have fun with this. And Shawn couldn't say anything about it. I smiled at him, and he just raised his eyebrows. I wanted to laugh.

"Yeah, and so we went on for five years with him dating people, and I went on dating other people. If only he just said something!"

"Yeah, Shawn, you should've said something!" Molly chimed in.

"Too late now," he shrugged.

"So, then I guess...he finally told me when we went on tour. And I was sort of seeing someone else at the time. But, he just stole my heart. And apparently I didn't even have to think about it."

Shit. I said 'apparently'. They just nodded, not noticing anything. I carried on quickly, without looking at Shawn. Needed to concentrate and compartmentalize.

"We started a relationship pretty soon after. And, yeah. It's been good. But, of course it's been rocky. I mean, with any new relationship, you're trying to figure out each other. You're trying to understand one another in a romantic sense. With the added pressure of being under a microscope, anyone's bound to have troubles."

I hope that was a decent enough explanation.

"I can only imagine how tough that would be," Molly sympathized. "Shawn, do you have anything to add? My question is...why did you wait so long?"

I looked over at him. This was a question directed at him. He couldn't pawn it off on me.

And I wanted to know what he would come up with. Seeing as he didn't wait very long at all. Seeing as he wasn't actually in love with me, pining for me for 5 years.