Crookedly in Love {a Shawn Mendes Fan Fiction}

26. Down We Go

I wiped the tears quickly away from my eyes. The day had come where Shawn's album would be launched. I didn't know what to do or how to even tell him I was going to be leaving. I wanted to say goodbye, tell him I didn't want him to think I absolutely hated him for the rest of his life. I wanted to tell him I would forgive him, eventually. But not now.

For now, I still couldn't look him in the eye without breaking down and seeing everything we had before and what we would never get back.

I still couldn't talk to Camila without feeling this sense of frustration that she made it all so real for me that Shawn wasn't who I thought he was.

I just didn't know what to do, and I couldn't be here anymore. I really hated the feeling of being broken, and I didn't know how to put myself back together.

Especially if I was always around the person who broke me.

Nelson Paul loved our duet. He raved about all the songs, told us how well we worked together. We just smiled and nodded uncomfortably.

"We'll have you as a team forever!" he exclaimed, in our meeting.

My stomach churned because I knew I wouldn't sign the next contract.

"We had a good time," Shawn feigned a smile. I didn't say anything, I could only smile.

"Well, we have to have an album launch party," he stated, shuffling papers on his desk. "You two will sing your duet, and we'll invite everyone. Leave it to us to organize. You just have to practice and show up."

"An album launch party?" I asked.

"Yes, food, drinks, celebrities, people who helped you in the process," he elaborated. "We can invite everyone you're finishing tour up with, of course. It will be this Saturday."

Great...

"And then that's your first album!"

Shawn put his hand tentatively on mine, to be congratulatory, but I flinched. Nelson didn't seem to notice.

We left with the intent to practice our duet in one of our hotel rooms, but how were we supposed to do that? He knew I wrote it because of our breakup. Now, we have to tell the story to everyone at the party.

"So, I guess we have to practice, right?" Shawn said.

"I guess."

We walked in silence to the car. But, as I got in, he stopped.

"I think I'll just walk around a bit," he said.

"What?" I asked, furrowing my eyebrows.

"I just, I want to give you space."

He started walking away, but I was too frustrated to let him walk away just like that. I opened the door to the car and got out, catching up to him.

I caught his arm, and he spun around. No one seemed to recognize us, and I finally felt like we could have a conversation out in the open about all this. We were finally in private.

"Shawn," I said, firmly.

"What?"

"Why are you running away from me?"

"I'm not," he argued. "I said—I wanted to give you space."

"It makes me feel bad," I said. "I don't know. It makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong. Like you want to get away from me. I feel like I'm at fault."

"You're not," he urged. "You're not."

"I..." I trailed off. "I just miss you, but I know I can't."