Author:
@spicy_sweets
Cover:
The cover is very eye-catching and the colours are great, I like the contradiction between the light pink background (which makes me think of sweet innocence) and the monster green hand (which gives me the shivers).
Blurb:
The blurb has got horror, betrayal and humor. It grabs my attention swiftly.
Chapter1:
Betrayal from the get-go! This is certainly an attention-grabber. Though I have just begun to read the story, I am already beginning to feel hatred for Jack and empathy for Lulu.
The feeling of despair is is powerful, I cannot but hate Jack a bit more as Lulu's sense of hopelessness grows. I would have liked a little bit more description about the surroundings, the undead and what is going on from the start to where Lulu is grabbed by them. It is quite quick and I feel like I am trying to see it though a fog. Lengthen it a bit with more detail, I think that will add a lot and make it even more gripping.
After the undead-grabbing-Lulu moment, I can see more description and detail (Poor Lulu!). Now, right here is where I am dragged into the horror of being in this situation (the fog has cleared). The description of the bites, etc. Is gory, as a zombie story should be. It's bloody and splattery and gross, this will make zombie fans very happy!
Even as a now one of the undead herself, Lulu's mixed feelings about her coward brother are strong and it comes though. You show us what is going on, you do not tell us and that is brilliant!
Lulu wants revenge! This was a great ending to your first chapter. I enjoyed reading this and would definitely continue. Wonderfully written and visual. I only have praise for this and am sure folks will enjoy reading it, as well.
Good luck, darkling!
CITEȘTI
The REALM OF CRITIQUES
AlteleA reader's first impression is everything. This is your destination for basic critiques to help you find and keep an audience. A member of The Cryptic's High Council will offer their perspective on your cover, blurb and first chapter, including ove...
