Author: TateUnique
Cover:
It's a good cover. If you had a name on it instead of a username I could see this on store shelves.
Blurb:
Your first series of words is unneeded. It's a list, not a proper hook. However, after that, your blurb is quite well done. You got my attention, and that means others will no doubt be interested, too. You give good insight into the plot without too many words or revealed secrets. I like it.
Prologue:
That was a buzzkill. You showed great promise, but this isn't, yet, at a professional level. You have grammatical concerns aplenty, including major problems with commas (including in your dialogue) and a clear lack of understanding with the ellipsis. Your story, like many new writers that attempt first person, has too many sentences starting with I. This shows a lack of creative sentence structure and can dull a reader's experience.
Another major concern you have is in details. You say that things are happening, but you don't break that up with description. You need to take a moment to paint a picture in your readers mind. Tell them about the scene. Give them indicators they can use to FEEL involved and captivated.
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The REALM OF CRITIQUES
RandomA reader's first impression is everything. This is your destination for basic critiques to help you find and keep an audience. A member of The Cryptic's High Council will offer their perspective on your cover, blurb and first chapter, including ove...
