Guardian - a Hartbig fanfic

"Ive got time " ch4

Mamrie's POV

•••

I walked up to the door , and began to push the room card into the slot when i dropped it and it fell under the door.

"Shit." I cursed to myself.

I then realized the door was not fully latched , so i walked in.

I picked up the card off the floor , and when i looked up i knew i had interrupted something.

Uncomfortable with watching hannah have sex with a girl , i began to walk slowly out of the door backwards, trying not to make a sound

Until the girl ontop of hannah broke the kiss and i caught a glimpse of her face.

Grace ?!

But no , grace isn't gay.

Grace is my cousin. She and i haven't talked for almost three years but when i saw her on the third day after moving in , we caught up a bit.

But surely she would have told me if she were gay ?

Now , don't get me wrong , i have no problem with gay , but i had never seen how it worked.

I know that sounds weird , but I've never actually seen two gay people dating , or even kiss for that matter.

It slipped , i swear. I didn't want to make hannah or grace or even myself uncomfortable by calling her out , but i couldn't stop it.

"Grace ?" I asked , wishing i could pull the words back in.

Suddenly one of them gasped, and grace pulled away , and turned around. The second she saw my face she turned red.

Hannah looked at me , her eyes wide , as she gathered her shirt , and picked up grace off her lap and set her on the bed to put it back on

" no, no , i get it. It's fine , honestly , I'll leave . I'll come back later. " i tried to collect myself.

"Oh, um no , sorry mamrie." Hannah said , grace still in awe , trying to avoid my eyes.

"No , really , I'll leave. I was coming to get my charger anyways. " i stated , though i wasn't. I walked over to my bed , and grabbed it , and began to walk out.

I closed the door , and began to walk away from the dorm , down the hall.

Holy fucking shit.

•••

Graces POV.

The second i met mamrie's eyes was the second i lost respect for myself and just gave up.

I've honestly never been more done before.

I try to hug someone ? I see their cuts

I try to tell someone I'm gay ? I puke

I try to kiss someone ? I get noodle legs

I try to finally lose my virginity ? I get caught.

I just can't function as a human.

It's at this point , this hundredth of a second between when my eyes meet Mamrie's , that i seriously consider becoming a cat and dropping out of school.

Wow.

I can't listen when Hannah and Mamrie are talking about who's going to leave , i can't look at anyone, i can't think.

I just sit there.

When Mamrie leaves , i finally look up at Hannah , her eyes meeting mine.

"So what now?" I ask , hoping she'll know what to do because i sure as hell don't.

"What do you want to do ...?" She asks , and i have no idea.

I shake my head , and she offers , "Lets just talk for a second. "

I nod and she sits down , and i sit on her lap and wrap my legs around her.

"Are you going to tell her?" She asks , biting her lip.

"Well i think it's pretty obvious now , she just walked in on me practically having sex with a girl , there's no use wasting my breath on it." I say back to her. I wait for the right moment to kiss her , deciding there will never be one.

"But you liiiikkeeddd it " Hannah adds, with a smirk , and i laugh at her. Yeah , i did.

Fuck.

She wraps her hands around my waist , and i take the moment to bring it up. "Why do you hurt yourself?" I ask. I know it's touchy topic , I've done it before.

"It's a long story, babe. " she admits , biting her lip once again.

"I've got time ..."

•••

Hannah's POV

When i was little , my parents always taught me being gay was a sin and abnormal. My life was based around that belief. After a while , once i knew i didn't like guys , i found the oppertunity to come out , only to realize there never is a right moment to come out to homophobic parents.

They completely shunned me , and i hated them. My sisters were forced to not talk to me , and i tried to commit suicide when i was fifteen and again at seventeen. I nearly OD'd both times , until my parents found me , and kicked the shit out of me until I threw up all over the bathroom floor , causing me to vomit the pills too.

And once i got into all this Amanda shit , things got even worse.

And there was zoe. Zoe was the love of my life , straight. She was my best friend since i was little , and we were like pen-pals. She lived in the UK and when she got older , she moved to LA to live with me. And one day , i couldn't control myself , and kissed her. She freaked out and left me. But I've never stopped loving her.

And that's what i told Grace.

Watching her face harden and frown made me upset. She began crying at the end and threw herself forward on me , sending us both backward. She hugged me , and said sorry about a million times.

"I used to do it too , you know. "

My heart stopped , and she raised up her sleeve, displaying the scars littering her arms. I understood.

She laid ontop of me , and i kissed her hair .

And we fell asleep.

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