Howling Badboy

Give Credit to Air

Breathe.

The thing that only the living do. The thing that separated the living from the dead. The thing that made you think 'as long as I'm breathing, I'll be ok'.

It felt as if I wasn't breathing.

But I knew I was still breathing otherwise I'd be dead or trying to stop the hiccups. I don't think it was the second one. My mind was racing, I don't know how though. I mean, I made up my decision to leave this world; why doubt now? I'm already almost dead. I felt the air pushing against my body as if it was trying to save me.

Then my vision went blank.

I wasn't dead, because I still felt everything. I could still feel the air's failing attempt to save me and the rippling of my clothes.

Suddenly, I could see again, but it wasn't now. Yeah, that confusing even for me...let me explain. I couldn't see the cliff's rocky walls or the pointed rocks below; I could see the past. Things that are done and gone.

Memories flipped across my vision like a movie, starting with the abuse and bullying. It left nothing out. Every hit and punch I can remember I relived. This is why I'm doing this. I thought sadly.

It kept going though, to when I met Dakota and the gang. It showed every laugh and joke. My vision flipped, and it wasn't through my eyes. It was like some weird third person kind of thing, and it showed me during my abuse trying to cover up my bruises and never smiling. It zoomed forward to when I was with Dakota, and I could see my smile. I could see the change he brought to me.

He made me happy.

The memories cut off, but my vision didn't come back. What if this is the wrong answer? I thought confused. A bright light shattered the darkness, and that lady, the moon goddess I think, appeared. She was the only thing I could see, and she was still beautiful and stunning.

"Pilla, is this the choice you want? To end your life? There are other options; you can change your mind." Her voice echoed in my mind. Change my mind? Woman, I'm almost at the bottom, there's no going back. I thought to myself.

Keyword: myself.

"I am the moon goddess, not woman. You need to decide. Do you want to end it or go back to Dakota? I can only grant you and Dakota one miracle each, but if you wait any longer...you will die. I can't bring back the dead." She shook her head, and in not even a millisecond, I knew.

"Take me back to Dakota."

She nodded smiling, and suddenly I stopped falling down. The moon goddess disappeared and my normal vision came back.

Keyword: down.

Slowly, I started to float up, like there was no gravity. It felt as if the air was pushing me forward slowly, but soon the air warriors were pushing me up faster and faster. Maybe the air really was trying to save me...

Weird. Maybe we should give air more credit, and less hate.

I was zooming back up the cliff like a cheetah powered rocket, but I was slowly down. Soon, I reached the top of the cliff and landed on solid ground. My senses were bombarded, to be simple.

The smell of the woods was crisp and comforting, like it was softly welcoming me back. The feel of the grass under my feet was soft and firm, like it was saying 'I'm here for you'.

But what I saw and heard...it...it...shattered my heart, my soul, my spirit, my sanity.

Dakota.

My sweet, funny, joking, strong Kota, was crumpled to the ground sobbing. His sobs were the worst sound I've ever heard, worst then the sounds of a slap against my skin. His body was slumped and defeated as if someone removed all the bones in his body.

His back was to the cliff, so he didn't see my great return. Even sob broke my heart, and I knew I caused his pain. I knew I couldn't just stand by and watch his pain go on, but as I was about to say something he started to speak.

"Pilla, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I snapped, I'm sorry I couldn't save you from Raphael, I'm sorry I couldn't save you from Serin, but most of all, I'm sorry I couldn't save you from your demons. All because of me, you decided to end it, I don't know how I'll go on. I loved you too, I will always love you." He started to sob again.

Time to speak up. I thought. I couldn't stand his sobs any longer.

"We'll go on together."

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IT'S OUT! I'M NOT A TOTALLY HORRIBLE PERSON! Well, let's not go that far....

School started and I'm going to be busy with everything I'm doing. 'What are you doing Jacqua?' you may ask. Well, I'm going out for the robotics and speech teams plus work plus homework plus family plus friends.

So yeah I'm very busy, so I don't know when I will update. But I got this one out! After like three weeks, but still!

Anyway...

Buhbye!