VENDETTA [LAMS]

Chapter 52 [A Chance Together]

Buckle your seatbelts up

•••ONE MONTH LATER•••

Alex's POV

I sat across from John. I looked at him waiting for something or anything. It's about quarter to six pm. We are at some seafood restaurant and in fifteen minutes of our date, he hasn't said anything. Neither did I.

Why?

We had some silly ass fight three weeks ago when he was about to say something. He's trying to say something but he ends up not saying it at all. And now, he's trying to do the same. My curiosity level reached over ten thousand because of this. He already has an apartment for his siblings. He has his own art business or whatever. He takes care of his siblings so he doesn't have really time for me.

I could the say the same things to myself too. I've been avoiding John for quite awhile. Maybe, I'm just being petty or stubborn. But maybe I just can't help but feel sad about what Herc told John three weeks ago at five pm. Remembering what he said made me think, I think a lot, actually.

I decided to just start a conversation.

"How's your day?" I asked, looking at him.

His pupils dilated, he clasped his hands together. "Y-yeah? Well... It's okay, I guess. How's yours?"

I smiled a bit, studying him. "It's fine."

"Alex, I really really need to tell you something."

I raised a brow, "Is that so? Are you going to break up with me? It seems serious."

He frowned, "Look, Alex, you've heard the talk I had with Herc right?"

I nodded.

"I'm not breaking up with you. Why would I?" He asks.

"Because it seems like it." I crossed my arms.

"I would say you're adorable for being mad but this conversation needs to be serious as hell." He says.

"Why?"

"First, we barely spent time on our seventh monthsary..." He paused.

"I know. It's because of my siblings and family problems crap." He explained, tapping his fingers on the table. It's one of the habits he does when he's nervous.

"John, do you really trust me? You're always not comfortable when I'm around." I say.

He looked up from his lap. "I trust you, a lot. It's—"

"It's what? John, stop. Please. You're making me curious. You're trying to avoid the truth. You want everything to be okay but it's not. Something is always bothering you. I don't know what's going on. I may look like an idiot. But for fuck's sake I love you John. Why can't you see that? Why can't you just trust me? What's the problem?"

He bit his inner cheek before he spoke. "I'm afraid of hurting you."

I frown at him. "How many times will I tell you that if they say love hurts, I'm always willing to take that risk if it means being with you."

He opened his mouth to speak again, but I cut him off.

"Tell me every terrible thing you did. Let me love you anyway. Show me the darkest shadows of you, and let me love you anyway. Let me see how fractured you are and let me fill your cracks with my love and let me love you anyway. Don't push me away in fear because of your darkness. Let me love it instead. Why can't you just let me inside your heart?" I frowned.