VENDETTA [LAMS]

Chapter 25 [Mine]

John's POV

I couldn't help but wonder. Everything I choose and decide in life caused me to ponder about it. Did I do something wrong? What's wrong with me?

I mean, everything in my life right now is going so well unexpectedly or maybe the plot demanded it. Either way, I just feel really bad.

Why?

I got a fucking puppy from Alexander. I hurted him from the damn start and he's treating me like a queen. Hell, I feel like the worse boyfriend ever. I just bought him books, sure, that made him happy but am I doing enough?

Am I enough?

I remembered one month ago where we talked about being honest with eachother. Maybe I should call him? Maybe I should just call Lafayette or Mulligan?

No. I should just talk to Lafayette. He has good advice anyway. I think.

I stood up making the puppy woke up. She looked up with me with those beautiful black orbs; she tilted her head. Aw.

"I'm just going to talk to Lafayette..." I said, unsure.

She tilted her head in the right, which made me smile a bit.
Dogs are too cute.

I decided to sit beside the small pup. I gave her a pat and she licked my hand. I let out a small giggle. Why are puppies so cute?

"How about I talk to you instead?" I said. No response. The pup just stared at me and put a paw on my lap. I smiled. I always like to think she's trying to tell something.

"Do you think I deserve Alex?" I asked. Again, no response. She rested her head on my lap and slept. I looked at her. I realized I haven't name her yet. I grabbed my phone and shifted in my place making the puppy wake up whimpering a bit. "Sorry, I still need to name you. What do you think I should name you?"

She blinked and sat down on four legs, starring at me. I sat beside putting her on my lap. After my classes tomorrow, I'll take her dog shopping. Either way I need to clear my head too. I hate it when I feel like I'm not good enough for Alex. He's just totally out of my league. How could he fell for me? Why does he love me? Why would he make me feel happy? I changed my thinking into dog names. I searched some names.

The only ones I liked were: Law, Frances— Maybe I should name her after me and Alex? That's a good idea. I should ask Alex tomorrow when we meet at Law class. Maybe he could think of a name. I smiled at the puppy and kissed its temple. She licked my nose making me smile. She's so adorably small.

She walked away from me and slept on the edge of the bed. I guess she didn't mind. I should talk to Alex about this tomorrow in lunch time. But can I leave the pup alone?

Oh wait. Lafayette has no classes. Hopefully he'd agree talking care of her.

I leaned over the wall and replayed everything that happend. My life is a total mess. Of course I wouldn't leave Alex. Alex is the only thinh that felt right except for the puppy. The puppy is always right. Being with Alex, that meant leaving so many things behind: my reputation, my dad's orders, being in the closet and more. I didn't know I could do it. It surprised me more that I could do it. What do I want anyway?

Oh, right. I want a relationship with Alex. I'm not sure how it really worked out well. It's so funny that you gave up so many things for the person you love.

I have a feeling it's worth it. I feel like doing all of this is worth it. Hopefully though, I'm enough for Alexander.

About the dad thing? I don't really know. I feel terrified talking about it. The words won't come out of my mouth. Everytime when I try to bring it up, my chest tightens, my breathing will quicken, my vision gets slightly hazy and my voice won't come out.

I may have fucked up a lot of times in life but, one thing for sure: Alexander is worth it. I would give up anything if it means being with him. Even if a lot of shit is happening, I would go through it again and again just to be with him. Alexander is like one of the best and good things right now.

I have a feeling the universe is just giving a chance for me to be happy and after that, everything will br bamboozelled again. Might aswell enjoy the moment.

I realized something though, I realized that I would do anything for Alex to be mine. I didn't mean 'mine' as in a creepy way or my boyfriend way. Simply mine and it felt right just calling him that.

It felt right calling him that.

I have a feeling I won't be letting Alex go easily.

I yawned. I probably took an hour just thinking. I grabbed my blanket and spread it out. The puppy woke up again and looked at me. I carried her on another pillow and made her sleep there. I slept on a different pillow. The last thought before sleeping was my puppy.