VENDETTA [LAMS]

Chapter 19 [Alex And John]

   Since everything is kinda sad especially for John (poor John) Have a slight happy chapter!

John's POV

"John, are you okay?" Alexander was the first one who asked me that. It sent some shivers down my spine. What should I feel? What was I supposed to feel? I couldn't help it but—I cried.

Hercules immediately stood up and comforted me. "Shh, what's wrong?"

I shouldn't tell them. I need to fight this alone. I need to be strong atleast for once. But everyone has a breaking point. I hold my phone tightly and hugged Hercules tightly. Lafayette and Alex stood up and went to me. Alex watched me only.

"Mon ami... tell us what's happening to you. We're getting worried." Lafayette said his voice full of concern. My legs felt weak. I felt tired. I eventually calmed down. I wiped the tears away from my face looking down at the ground. Hercules pulled away from me. Lafayette held my hand as we walk to the sofa. I sat there. Alex sat beside me as he put his hand on my shoulder. It made me feel alright. They made me feel alright.

I breathed. "I'm tired..."

They all said in unision, "Why?"

"I want to go home." I squeaked. In all honesty, home was the last place I wished to be. My time at South Carolina had so much bad memories.

"Home? What do you mean?" Hercules asked.

I decided to end this. Atleast I need to end some bullshit in my life right? "Can I talk to—" I turned to look at Alexander. "–Alexander, alone?"

The three looked at eachother and  shrugged while Hercules nodded. Lafayette and Hercules went to Lafayette's room and closed the door behind. Alex hold my hand tightly. I felt like in that moment he wanted to forget what happend to us before. I didn't even know why I wanted to talk to him but I just love the atmosphere I had with him.

"John, what happend?" Alex spoke. I lower my gaze on my lap and said. "I'm sorry."

He gave a light squeezed on my hand. "Why are you sorry?" He spoke softly. It was almost calming.

"I want to go home..." I heard myself saying it again. Alexander pulled me into a hug.

"I want to go h-home. I want to go home." I whispered again. I didn't know I started crying again.

In my nightmares that are considered dreams, I always saw blood. Blood being coughed up by her sister when she was beaten up by my dad.

Martha.

Her hand ontop of mine in the hospital. Too tired to speak as my sister peacefully closed her eyes. What was once filled with joy and happiness is now filled with emptiness and hollow. Everytime when my father throw a punch at my face. I remembered the taste of blood and the pain. The pain that I got used to. The pain that stopped hurting.

I guess home isn't what I longed for. I cried more as I hugged Alexander buried my face on the small boy's chest and. Home was a stupid, fucked up, disturbing and distorted memory that I do not want to go on.

Home was simplier. It's where you're welcome. It's when Lafayette and Hercules are in open arms to hug me. It's where you're genuinely happy. It's when you can be yourself. It's all my friends and people I cared about, sitting, chatting and laughing. It's when Alexander smiled back at me.

Alexander.

"Forgive me, P-please." I begged him. He hugged me tightly.

"I've forgive you a long time ago, John." He said. I felt is gaze on me. I pulled away from the hug and we both just stared at eachother, holding hands.

I couldn't be much grateful and happy at this moment. I haven't felt so much relief that he forgive me after all the bullshit I got myself into. I wanted to stay with him like this all night. I wanted to pause this moment. The atmosphere of him, just being here, comforts me. I wanted this moment to never end.

Those beautiful dark chocolate eyes that stared deeply into mine as if telling a story. Our hands held together as if it they won't be together tomorrow. It's like two broken boys in a imperfect scene completing eachother. That's what I thought. It sounded endearing.

I didn't want to be anywhere. I just wanted to pause this moment.

"Thank you." I finally broke the silence, my voice cracking a bit. Alex smiled at me sadly. I needed to tell him that I love him. I needed to tell him how I felt.

"Alexander?"

"Yes John?" He said, his eye contact not leaving mine. 

"I'm Tortuga Marina." I admitted.

Wooo sorry for the cliff hanger. I'm working on the next chapter don't worry. Hey, atleast they made up right?? Minus one problem for John. :))