The Real 8th Member ➳방탄소년단 {✔}

Chapter 1: Where did it all go?

I slumped down in my bed and looked at the view from my window; it was peaceful. Completely opposite from my so-called life. Completely opposite. 

Drowsiness soon absorbed my body and my eyes slowly shut tight.

~•×•~

"WE DON'T NEED YOU Y/N! WE'RE ALREADY FINE WITH OURSELVES!"

I woke up while breathing heavily. It was one of those days when my nightmares would come back. They would always come back. And my nightmares are always the same; them saying the same quote, over and over.

It wasn't scary, suprising or any things people might think of nightmares, but it was painful. Painful, like my heart was shattered. Was it wrong for me to request them to tell their pd-nim if I can join them as a band?

Yes, that was the sole reason why this whole mess started. It was all my fault, but it was also theirs. I wish I could turn back time to change it. Maybe, they won't be angry at me anymore. Maybe, things might be back to normal.

I tried to be quiet while descending the stairs, but it was too creaky. So in the end, I ended up having 7 eyes boring into my soul. Usually people might fangirl, but I can't. I was too scared.
I tried to ignore them, childish of me but it was the only way to avoid them. My eyes scanned every part of the house except them, like it was the most fascinating thing in the world. But the truth is, nothing can compare to them.

Y/N what are you thinking? bad Y/N

"Y/N, do your own breakfast, we're already done." A sharp voice entered my ears as I locked eyes with Min Yoongi. His cold eyes staring into my own, as if waiting for a reaction.

I enhaled sharply as I felt thousands of lightning bolts stab my heart. A million times at that. They usually would wait for me, no matter how long I take. But I guess old habits die easy.

An okay was all I could sound out. They looked at me, then nodded curtly. "We're going to practice. You're not allowed to enter. It's confidential."

Then, they just left, leaving me once more in the shadows.

Sighing, I stood up and grabbed my coat. They knew that I wasn't good at cooking. But they still ignored it. So time for me to eat take outs again. Yay. Note the sarcasm please.

~•×•~

Seoul was just the same as usual, more colder than usual. I was glad I'd brought a coat, or else I might turn into a giant ice cube. 

The little bells chimed as I entered the store. Vague memories were suddenly absorbed in my mind. I shook my head. I don't want to think about it.

I smiled at the ahjusshi in the counter and grabbed a random piece of ramen. Hopefully the ramen would be good. Lets just say I don't have lucky hands. Usually I would end up with spicy foods, which sometimes I am a fan of and sometimes not. Today was not.

I crossed my fingers as I heard the small ding from the microwave, my ramen was done. I then added the little plastics provided there and mixed it with a chopstick.

The aroma of ramen entered my nostrils as I looked down. Good thing that I picked a decent flavor. Sitting on a stool, I took my chopstick and dipped it on the ramen, grabbing a spoonful of the noodles and bringing it on my mouth.

I hissed inwardly at the hotness of the noodles. I hated that. I can't taste the flavor.

"Hello?"

I almost shrieked at surprise. Eyes wide I looked at the young man, around my age, looking at me with curious eyes. He was attractive, but I wouldn't admit it. He had a pointed nose, round eyes, sharp jawline—

I gulped inwardly and looked away, I recognize the features so easily.

Namjoon was standing in front of me with an amused expression. He looked shocked at my figure, then he softened, then became cold once more. Confusion was written on my face on how easily he changed. And why?

There was a moment of awkward silence before I cleared my throat. He looked at my eyes, but not the same as before. It didn't hold the warmth I used to see, instead I saw cold eyes staring into mine.

"How did you know I'm here?" I asked.

"I'm not following you for your information, I was just buying things for the other members." He snapped. He never snaps at me.

He pinched the bridge of his nose before stomping at the exit of the store, making me wallow in the past once more. Even though I don't want to. It just comes back to me.

"Y/N we already told pd-nim that yesterday..." Jungkook whined as the others agreed.

"Please...." I begged them, clasping my hands together.

Suga was the first one to snap.

"Y/N we are tired. Please. Not today." He said.

I remembered the words he said to me. But I was stubborn, I wanted to join them so badly and begged once more. That was when all hell broke loose.

I vaguely remembered what happened next, there was shouting, arguing, pushing. And the last thing that scarred in my head was the words that Jimin said.

"WE DON'T NEED YOU Y/N! WE'RE ALREADY FINE WITH OURSELVES!" Before pushing me outside and locking it.

My heart twinged at the pain, Am I wrong? Yes and no. Yes, I was stubborn. I have to admit that but I can't help it. 4 years I've yearned to be an idol, 4 years.

I wiped my tears once more and sighed before leaving the store, the pain following me behind.

It always does.