"I love you too, Jc." I stated.
His eyes brightened, and I couldn't help but giggle. We looked around in silence for awhile, I was in thought.
"So are you my girlfriend?" Jc smiled, looking into my eyes, his hand placed around my ear pushing hair from my face.
His glare on my face made me insecure, and I turned to look away.
"Charolette, look at me." He moved closer, forcing me to face him.
We sat there looking at each other again.
I didn't want to leave Jc in reject, and I certainly did not want him to regret asking me out, or telling me he loves me.
I certainly don't regret confessing, as of right now that is.
But feelings just flow, and bad outcomes happen, and I can't have that happen with Jc.
But I just lead him on. I made him think I was ready to commit for him, to keep to a promise of a relationship.
That's why it was so hard to tell him I love him.
But nobody knows Jc like I do, no one. Not even Kian. I know it sounds bad, but I know that I know Jc more than anyone.
I noticed Jc's difference from the past years to this year.
I noticed how unhappy he's become.
I noticed the positivity he forced upon himself when it didn't appear naturally.
I noticed the small changes, like how he didn't straighten or cut his hair the same way anymore, I've noticed how he's become more insecure over the past years.
I realize that Jc isn't who he was when he started youtube. Who he was when we were little, he isn't the same anymore.
He's lost his friends now, his family, his confidence, and most of all his trust.
Now I know I've messed up.
I know how Jc feels, he told me I fix him. But what if fixing him doesn't work, and it just breaks him even more.
Even though Jc denies being upset, I know he isn't the same.
I love Jc, I really do, and I care so much for him. He's stood with me through everything, he's been there for me every single step of the way.
I want Jc. I want him to be my boyfriend, I want him to be my future, the father of my children, the guy who places the ring on my finger.
But on the way to that I don't want to go through hell.
I don't want to loose my best friend on the way, I don't want us to mess up on the way there. I'm too scared from my past relationship, how I lost one of my closest friends, a boy I know I loved.
I know I've changed since I lost Jordan, and that's why I remind myself about decreases and change. Not every change in life brings negativity, and just because the word increase has a better ring to it, it doesn't mean decrease can't give you the mindset you've been needing.
But I feel like I can tell Jc everything, I could even explain how I feel about this to him if I could get the words I want to say out. But my body tells me no, my lips refuse to move the way I want them to. As if that's the wrong move.
My heart tells me to risk this.
That Jc loves me, and when you love someone they always come back, and you'll always go back to them.
"Rose." Jc said, breaking me from my thoughts.
I smiled at him.
"Do you want me to be your girlfriend?" I asked, he moved his hand down a little lower from my hip.
"Yes, I do."
"Then yes, I am." I confirmed, and his hand went even lower, I trusted him, this was not uncomfortable to me.
His voice became into a sleepy tone, as if he had just woken up. I checked my lock screen for the time, it was one in the morning.
"Madison's probably worried as hell about you." He said, moving his hand back up and rubbing my back.
I nodded.
"Will you take me home?"
He pulled me closer to his chest, holding me for a second.
"Yes." He said standing up, then reaching his hand to me.
"Ready?" He asked, moving towards the side of the roof asking me to jump with him.
I looked down, and the height wasn't too bad, but there was no way I was jumping.
"No." I stated.
"You have to trust me, I will catch you."
I shook my head.
"No."
He rolled his eyes and jumped.
"Find your way back then by yourself." He smirked, knowing I'd get lost and trampled by fans.
I looked over, there was a tree branch that seemed a little flimsy, but not too thin.
I grabbed onto it and it swung me down off the roof, I smirked at Jc, because he didn't get his way.
"Lame." He rolled his eyes.
We pulled into the driveway and Madison was outside on the porch on her phone.
"Charolette what the hell where were you?"
"Jc's party."
"Kians party." Jc corrected me.
"Wow, and I didn't even get to go?"
"We invited all of you, maybe if you ever answered the group chat you'd know that." Jc said, joking in a sassy tone.
"Okay, I'll see you later Rosie." Jc smiled down at me, holding both my hands.
"No, please stay." I said.
"I can't. Kians going to need me to help him clear up."
"Baby please, We can both go help Kian in the morning." I said, holding onto him tighter.
He chuckled.
"Fine, only because you made me feel like I need to."
"Excuse me?" Madison questioned, referring to me calling him baby, and us acting closer than usual.
I looked at Jc, and he looked at me.
"I'm dating Charlotte." Jc stated.
"Shes mine." Madison said, joking.
"I'll take care of her, don't worry." Jc nodded and we both went to my room.
"Goodnight Jc."
"Goodnight beautiful."
Butterflies.
