Decreases & Change / Jc Caylen

Six

Jc's pov:

What really sucked is that I left her wondering about who I was talking about.

But I was too scared to tell her, too scared she didn't like me back.

Too scared that she would like me back, and I'd end up making her loose feelings after I did something stupid.

Too scared we'd become a thing, and make a commitment, and my fans not approve of her and cause her hurt.

Too scared our friends would break us up. Too scared Luke would never talk to me again.

Too scared I wasn't good enough for her, or wasn't what she wanted. So I left it at that. I left it at a hug, when really I wanted a Kiss.

It seemed she didn't want one, I leaned in but she stayed still, and it just gives me more reasons to force myself to not fall for her.

But how could I not? She's just so different, something I want in my life forever, someone I want a future with.

But if it didn't work out, it'd ruin our whole friendship.

She nodded at me, and got up to jump back into the deep water.

"Wait!" I shouted, making her flinch at the volume of my voice.

I laughed a little. "Lets go at the same time." I said, and we intertwined our hands, and we both jumped in.

We came up at the same time, and she was latched onto me.

"Jc I'm tired of swimming." She whined, and I chuckled down at her. Her eyes looked so pretty in the lighting.

Stop it Justin, that's bad.
Luke would not approve of this.
She herself would not approve of this.
Who cares what Luke things? Why should I care?
Bros before hoes.

She isn't a hoe.
Well change your mind, you can't have her.

I zoned out, thinking until I heard her screeching my name.

"Jc! Wake up!" She laughed.

"Sorry." I laughed back with her, and swam her over to the shallow water again.

"You know what fuck this." I blurted when we got over there, and she looked so confused and maybe a little hurt.

"Jc?" She questioned.

"Charolette." I stated.

Spill it, Justin.

"Why are you getting so pissy all of the sudden?" She said in a more moody tone.

"Because I don't want to be your friend." I think I worded that wrong.

"Did I do something?"

Yeah, you made me fall for you.

"No no! I didn't mean.... listen," I started. "When I hear your name I crave more than a friendship and I don't want to screw anything up, but I can't keep you out of my head."

She smiled down, and I made her look up. "If you don't feel the same way, I'll get over you some how but I'm tired of not knowing if we could be something else."

"Jc, you told everyone you'd never date me, you don't like me. You wouldn't show me off, maybe you'd even be embarrassed of me."
What she said, just hurt me.

"I would sure as hell show you off, but I was so angry at you dating all these boys when I thought I made it clear I wanted you."

"Jc I don't know what I want."
She said, looking confused in her thoughts.

"That's fine." I said.

It's not fine. I'm not fine. I'm such a dumbass.

I went to get up to walk away from her, but she tugged on my arm to look back at her.

I looked down at her again, "I want you, but I can't have you, and that's that." She stated.

"Why not?" I asked.

"How can somebody love someone else if they can't even love themselves?"

"If the other person teaches them how to."

"But what would Kian think? Jade? Luke? Katherine? Maddison? Wes?"

"If they leave us because we changed, then maybe its better. They should be happy if we're happy."

"This isn't some decreases and change shit, Jc they mean more than that."

"But you mean everything to me."

"But you're always too busy for me. You have a career in front of you, a future."

"But I don't want to continue that without you if you want me."

"Jc please, let's just figure things out."

He nodded, and we grabbed our things, for in the car and went back to the house.

Kian sighed as we walked in the door.
"It's 12 am where were you guys? I was going to ask if you wanted to make pizza."

"At 12 am?" I chuckled.

"Why is your hair wet? You guys went swimming without me!?" Kian said, upset.

I nodded.
"Sorry Kiki. Let's just order pizza, okay!?" Charolette apologized, and we all sat down around the tv, watching dumb cartoons until the pizza came.

It didn't feel awkward between us, intact maybe I felt even closer to her.