365 days of Darkness // Z.M.

Day 139

December 8th, 2009

When I woke up that morning, I was feeling like crap. It wasn't just mentally as always, it was... Deep down inside of me. And it was on my body too. I wasn't able to get up. I was just way too tired for that. The fact that I had fell asleep at passed three in the morning wasn't helping to be in a good shape. But still. I decided to take a day off and to just play to some random shitty games on my phone. Until I received a text message. I couldn't help but smile a bit when I saw Alexis' name on the screen.

"So, what are you up to ? School like the perfect little boy you are ?"

"Yeah, no. I guess you're not either ;)"

"Ditching school mister Malik ? Didn't thought you would"

"I'm rebel sometimes"

"Don't take this too far. You're not rebel at all"

This made me laughed, because I could pictured her while writing that text. She probably looked in the hair, then placed her hair back behind her ear and do that weird thing with her nose that she was always doing when she was trying not to laugh at something. 

"Oh, I'll show you next time that you'll be in town..."

"Can't wait to see that ;)"

"You'll be impressed"

"Sure, sure, sure..."

I'll never know why that girl was the only one able to make me laugh so easily, when I was feeling so bad. She was just... Herself and I liked that. 

"Call me" She said "I miss your voice :("

"Missing my... voice ?"

"Just call me, idiot."

I laughed again, before dialing her number. Luckily for me, it was an easy number, otherwise I would have never knew it by heart. 

- So, you missed the idiot's voice ? I teased, smiling to my ceiling. 

- Yeah, you have a pretty voice...

Her's was nothing like what I had expected. It was broken, like she had cried earlier. Maybe she was still crying...

- Is everything okay ? I asked, sitting in my bed.

- No, not at all... 

- Want to talk about it ?

- Not really...

- Okay...

There was a silence between us while I was trying to think about something to say to change the subject.  I heard her sobbing and it broke my heart a little bit more. I wanted to help but, as always, I wasn't able to do a thing. 

- Would you do something for me ? She asked, looking more shy than I ever saw her. 

- Anything. 

- Would you... Sing to me ? 

- Yeah, of course. What do yo want me to sing ?

Singing was something I loved to do. But that I wasn't doing much because it wasn't my thing to sing alone and that I had no one to hang out with and do some karaoke session. 

- You'll laugh...

- Tell me, Alexis...

- I want it that way, by the Backstreet boys.

- Fan of them ?

- Really.

- I didn't know.

I get up, I don't know how I find the strength to do that. I sat in front of my computer and plugged the earphones. I only put on to my ear and let my phone on the desk, on the free-hand mode. I put a lyric video of the song and I sang it. I did that with a few other songs, just because I knew by the way her breathing was that it was helping her. I never asked what was going on, I just sang. For a long, long time.

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I'm still up ! Seriously, I'm proud of me ! I'm only an entry late now ! But I won't catch up today... Sorry everyone, I love you ! xx