365 days of Darkness // Z.M.

Day 115

November 14th, 2009

Doniya had been awake until three in the morning, crying over my sweater. I didn't mind, I just held her close to me until she felt asleep. For myself, I couldn't slept, I was checking over every single sound that was in the house. I was afraid that our father would came back, but he never did. At about six, I heard Waliyha getting downstairs to watch TV. At nine, the front door opened. 

I instantly stood up. I was afraid it was my Dad coming back. I walked slowly up to the stairs, before I heard my Mom's voice. I let a breath getting out of my lips and let myself slide on the wall. He wasn't back there, my sisters were going to be okay for now. I almost wanted to cry, because you can't know how much pressure it was. The pressure of taking care of my sisters, to be sure that no one would hurt her. 

That's where my Mom found me, minutes later. Me, fighting over my tears. She sat on the stairs below me and grabbed my hand.

- Is everything okay Zayn ?

I nodded, she didn't needed to know that her husband was a jerk on top of everything. I wiped my cheeks with my free hand and smiled to my Mom. That was the time when Doniya came out of her room, still looking a bit in chock and her eyes red by crying too much. 

- Zayn, I... My sister stopped when she saw our Mom.

Her voice showed everyone that she had cried a lot.

- What's going on in there ? My Mom asked. 

I knew we couldn't lie to her forever. But she didn't needed that for now. Doniya was looking at me for answers that I couldn't gave her. 

- Will someone answer me ?

Silence. Doniya sobbed and hided her face with her hands. I was the one in charge. 

- Dad was home yesterday... I started and looked up to my sister to find the strength to continue. He was drunk. Completely drunk. I told him to go because he... 

I bit my lip, I couldn't continued. Not by seeing my Mom's face breaking in front of me. But I needed to. For my sisters safety.

- He pushed Doniya against the counter. And, the last couple of times he went home, he punched me. 

My Mom let a sigh getting out of her lips before getting up and rushing upstairs to her room. It was getting a complete mess. I called Waliyha and told her to take care of Doniya for a while and to make her eat something. I then get up and went in front of my mother's door. I knocked and then opened it. She was sitting on her bed, her face hiding in her palms. I came up to the bed and sat next to her. I held her against me and I could felt her crying.

- I'm the worst mom ever... She sobbed.

- No, you're not... You're dealing with everything on your own, that's a lot, I told her.

- I didn't even saw that he... That...

- Don't blame yourself for something he did.

She nodded and wiped her eyes before going a bit away from me. She looked straight at me, her thump tracing my cheek bone. 

- I love you Zayn, you know that, right ?

- I know. And I do too Mom.

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So, what do you think about that ? Zayn taking care of everything ?