365 days of Darkness // Z.M.

Day 96

October 26th, 2009

Monday morning was always the hardest morning of all. I needed to get back to school and I couldn't see Safaa until late in the afternoon. Doniya drove me and Waliyha up to school, without saying a thing. She waited that me sister went out of the car and me about to do the same thing to grabbed my wrist. It hurt, because of the cuts, but I did like it was nothing. I turned to her and she seemed so sad all in once. I was about to ask what happened when she started to speak.

- Dad called. He'll be home tomorrow.

- Drunk or not ?

My voice was rude but the two last time I had saw him, he was worst than wasted and wanted to best the shit of out me. I was pretty sure I didn't wanted to live that again.

- Zayn...

- I don't feel like fighting with you this morning Nia.

- he seemed sad...

- Last time. He seemed sad too. But he would have punched me again if Mom wasn't there.

She stayed quiet and I grabbed my bag on the ground. She didn't knew that, I hadn't told neither her nor Waliyha.

- I'm going to be late.

I slammed the door and started to walk up to my locker. I dropped everything in it before blowing. I was already afraid of the next day.

I taught that I would spend my lunch time alone, but when I get to my locker after the class, there was someone sitting on the floor in front of it. It didn't took me long to recognize Mark. I passed in front of my to grab my lunch in my locker and started to eat without even looking at him.

- Zayn...

- Don't talk to me, I told him with and harsh tone.

- I'm sorry...

I didn't turned around to see him, I was angry at him. He already had let me down a couple of times.

- And I'm worried about you...

That time, I couldn't help but faced him and laughed. Because... Except for his texts, he wasn't looking like he was worrying a lot.

- Why are you laughing ?

- Nothing just... I shook my head, making my laugh stop. You don't have friends to hang out with ?

- You're one of them Zayn.

- Yeah for sure ! I'm only one of them when Elizabeth's not there, right ?

He didn't answered. It was surely that. Eli wasn't at school today, nor Derek. It was the only reason why he was there with me. Just because his cousin wasn't there to keep an eye on him.

- She just... She...

- Don't even try to explain yourself. You're losing your time. I won't listen and I won't believe.

He get up and really seemed hurt. He looked at me one last time before walking away. I blew when he disappeared of my glance. He was my best friend but all I was doing was pushing him away. I was probably deserving to be left alone. I was probably deserving to be hurt.

I won't tell you what I did that night. But it included a locked bathroom and my razor. 

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Second entry of today, I really had a lot of time to write it, I hope you enjoyed it ! xx