365 days of Darkness // Z.M.

Day 104

November 3rd, 2009

I had to go back to school that day. Doniya drove me and Waliyha there. No one was speaking, it was loud. But I think there was nothing to say at that moment. My cheek was still red and I wasn't able to open it completely. But it could have been worst. I walked up to my locker, looking at my feet. I put my music up, so I didn't had to hear everyone laughing and having fun with each other. To forget that I was alone in that world. I was more and more each single passing day.

I know I shouldn't always say "worst part of the day" but there was no "best". There was only less worst. And those are always the same boring routine. Me going to classes and wanted to throw myself out of the window. So I'll keep with the worst part. 

It was because of Derek again. I knew he would say something, because he couldn't keep his mouth shut. Just by the way he was looking at me as I entered the science class, I knew it would be a total mess when he'd say something. And it was. God damn, it was. 

It was in the middle of the English class. Everyone was doing some exercises, alone. My pencil was knocking on the desk when I received a piece of paper from my back. Did I have to mention who was sitting behind me ? I think not. I opened it, then read it. The words on it was hurting, so damn much. But, for once, there was nothing about Eli. Hopefully, because I would have jumped at his throat if it had. I wrote two words back before throwing the paper back. But the teacher saw me and made Derek go in front of the class to read it. He did, with a huge smile on his face.

- "You can't fight Malik ? You're such a looser. What happened ? Did someone came behind you and forced you to have sex with them ? Oh, I forgot... You're way too ugly for that kind of stuff." That's what I wrote, he said and a couple of persons laughed. He added a "shut up".

- Give me that.

The teacher grabbed the paper from Derek's hand and threw it on the garbage. That was it. Like... The fact that it was in the trash made everything disappeared. But, damn, it doesn't. People were still laughing a bit, looking at me thinking I wasn't seeing them. I stared at my sheet and gritted my teeth.  It hurt. I mean... It shouldn't hurt me that much, but those laughing... It was like they were all agreeing with this jerk. It was like I had nothing to stay down to earth.

By the end of the class, I had none of the number done. When the bell rang, I threw the pages in my bag and ran outside. People laughed again. Waliyha was in the middle of the door in front of me. But she didn't laughed to see me like that. Because I was really about to lose it. She just went next to me and we walked in silence up to my locker. It was just that but... It was making things a little bit easier. 

-----

Yeah, Liyha and Zayn, I don't know why x)