The Art of the Corset (2017)

Chapter Thirty Eight- Priority Over Desire

Evelyn stood in front of the window as she anxiously watched the road that led to the castle in fear of Amelia returning with guards at her disposal-waiting to annihilate her and anyone who holds a place in her heart. Closing her eyes as she put together the worst of circumstances in her hand, she jumped to the feeling of hands on her arms-but eased when she saw it was Marth.

"Forgive me, I called to you, but you seem quiet distracted. Are you still stricken ill?"

"No." She shook her head before moving from the window and going towards the bed, where she sat on the end and took a deep breath. While placing her clear nightgown robe on the chair beside the bed, she slid the covers over her before Marth sat and turned towards her.

"Are you content?" Having trying to force herself to sleep, Evelyn rose to the question and turned towards him. Finding his gaze on the sheets that sat between them both as he could not look her in the eye as she responded, she placed her hand on his but found him to pull away. "Please do not keep me in suspense." He begged as his eyes drew to hers. Although he tried to hide it, sadness crept into his gaze as he withheld tears from escaping.

"I am not sure, Marth. I expect and deserve to not hold your trust...but you do not allow me a chance to earn it back. You accuse without evidence and lecture without reason. And you pull from me. Whatever your reason may be...you do not show affection to me. You have not in quite some time.So I imagine the question should be asked to you. Are YOU content?"

"I am hurt beyond words. You know this to be true, you know the reason why as well. Yet, I try to build past it...I try to imagine our lives with children and ruling side by side...but I see an empty chair or a woman with a blurred face-not you..."

Hearing the truth, she pulled her knees into her chest as she could feel her heart slowly begin to break from his words. Squeezing tight as he continued, she used all of her anger and hugged her legs tight, pressing it hard against her chest.

"I love you and this is why I have not taken another...but you have...I cannot erase that from my mind. I cannot trust when you look to another, that you will not desire him more."

"I reached for you so many times, Marth-each time, you pulled further away. When I saw you intertwined with that other woman...I became enraged...I lost you...in that moment. Marcus came to me with complete devotion and care-for me alone. I fed from it, I know it and I feel guilty as sin and would take it back if given the chance...but it is my burden and I embrace the consequences...but you must assist in it."

"I do not think I can ever see past it. I look to you and see all the men...I see Marcus...I see Adams. I see how you could not trust me to speak in truth...It breaks me into pieces to know that I had everything and in a moment, it broke into a million fractures."

Her bottom lip began to tremble as she could see the pain deepen in his eyes and the words struggling from his mouth. When he spoke them aloud, she froze as his gaze locked onto her.

"I do not find it possible to hold a future with you...I have written a legal agreement between you and I to be separated. Legally and physically."

"You wish to walk away from me..." She spoke in a way that forced the pain to pulse through her body.

"I cannot be with someone who I cannot trust. Not again. Not after who I became while being with her. But if you ever need anything-"

"Do not dare play heroics, Marth. Do not speak of friendship or favors. I have made my fair share of mistakes...but you pin them against me each time we speak. Your neglect is what led me to him. I will not beg for you to stay my husband...but I will beg you to see that I am not the ONLY one at fault." Throwing the blankets from her side, she moved into the hallway and down in the kitchen where she found Julianna folding linens on the servants table. Upon seeing Evelyn with the tears on her cheeks, she jumped up and curtsied before rising to console her.