Bad Blood // Z.M A.U

47.

CARMELITA’S POV

Silence.

Complete silence between the two of us.

From one minute being able to tolerate one another and keeping the peace to another ending up in one big emotional mess.

I knew what I was in for from the beginning from both sides of the party but now I stand for the very first time in regret.

I regret spending four years devoting myself to a womaniser and putting me in danger that I believed would be a better life.

What did I get out of it? Money and a broken heart.

Money can’t buy you happiness. I know that because even though I have enough money for the rest of my life it doesn’t fix what I feel right now.

Betrayed. Hurt. Frustrated. Sad. Hopeless.

I never thought in my entire twenty years of my life that I would ever be cheated on for four years straight by a man I considered to be my beloved for the rest of my life.

But look at us now. Here we are in a hotel room, one hour away from home, crying about all the deepest and darkest confessions my boyfriend tells me by the minute.

I can’t even look at him.

That’s how disgusted and upset I am with him however with the tears that runs down my face nonstop makes it difficult to see a clear vision as well.

“Say something Carmelita.” Zayn pleads quietly, finally breaking the silence between us.

“What the fuçk must I say?! It’s okay Zayn!? I am completely fine with it?! I am fucking not!” I scream at him angrily as I grab the glass vase from the coffee table and throw it in his direction.

Immediately, Zayn ducks towards the side as the vase hits against the wall, shattering into many pieces on the carpet.

“I am sorry. I am so fucķing sorry and I know it will never help after what I said but I am deeply sorry for every single thing I did to you. It was never intentionally. I love you from the bottom of my heart.” He says to me and I can hear his voice becoming uneasy.

“I know how it feels to lose you because you have slipped away from me. I have lost the only woman ever loved and I know I will never find someone as good as you. I am so fucking scared to see what the future holds because I see nothing positive without you.”

By now I hear Zayn’s voice cracking and sniffles. Turning around I see his back towards me and his hands covering his face as he cries.

Oh no. Here we go again.

“I- I don’t know what I am doing with my life. I don’t want to do this without you. I don’t want to sleep alone every night. I don’t want to come home from work to no one and I surely don’t want to be lonely for the rest of my life.” He explains through his tears.

“I know I messed up tremendously this time and I know what I did was wrong but you have no idea how sorry I am Carmelita. I am so ashamed and upset with myself that I actually tolerated for four years but I know am done with it now. Please forgive me for this.”

For the first time, I actually burst out laughing despite my tears that continue to run down my face.

I can’t believe every single thing that is happening right now.

I have to admit, Zayn crying is getting to me but now I am feeling no pity towards him.

“Forgive you? Forgive you for fuckinģ other bitches behind my back for a couple of years? Let me tell you something Zayn. I could have finished high school and do my second year in university in this very moment we speak. I could have seen my family and friends whenever and wherever I wanted to. Where am I instead now? A miserable rich bitçh who was just some slut to an older man in a State I don’t fucking want to be in.