Bad Blood // Z.M A.U

30.

CARMELITA'S POV

"Do it." Zayn says calmly, looking me dead in the eye.

How can he... want this? Ask for his death?

I'm not going to lie; it has taken me by surprise. I expected him to beg for mercy, talk me out of this but by the looks of it; things have taken for an unexpected turn.

He raises his hands in the air and takes a step forward closer to me. "Easy target. Do it."

My finger is against the trigger but I can't bring myself to pull it as I stare at him dumbfounded by his request, my breathing is stuck in my throat and my head is becoming fuzzy.

I have to do this. I need to do this.

But yet I stand here in front of him, pointing a gun to him and making empty threats.

Zayn steps closer to me making me flinch, almost pulling the trigger on him. "Carmelita, kill me. It's for the best. I deserve it for what I have done to you for a very long time."

Silently refusing to pull the trigger on him, he walks closer to me and once he is right in front of me, panic begins to consume me.

Why can't I pull the fucking trigger on him?" It's so simple!

His hands cup my mine as he points the gun towards his chest where his heart is situated and then he moves his fingers to the trigger where mine are.

"Pull the trigger and you will be set free from the misery that I brought into your life." Zayn's voice comes out as a whisper, continuing to look me dead in the eye.

"I don't deserve the live after what I have done, so ending my life right here, right now, done by you – it's the best way to go."

I don't think I can do this and he probably knows it too.

Feeling so overwhelmed confused and scared – I somehow didn't want Zayn to die right in front of me, especially me killing him.

He does deserve to be punished after what he does to my baby and to me but I feel like this wasn't the right way to do it.

His blood will be on my hands (literally) and if I pull that trigger, I will regret it somehow. All my four years of loving him, taking care of each other and giving everything up will be gone to waste.

We do insane things in spite of anger which is what I am doing now. I am not thinking clearly about this and as much as I was determined to kill my own boyfriend in the beginning, all my determination was lost when Zayn asked me to kill him.

His finger slowly tries to pull the trigger with me and that's when I put a stop to it by yanking my hand away from the gun in which it drops to down to the ground below us.

Unexpectedly, I begin to gasp for air and my head becomes all clear again as I step away from him for space.

I can't do this. It's not right.

Hot tears rush down my face from being overwhelmed and the next thing I do is sob uncontrollably, scared of everything but also hurt that I am here in front of the man that has brought so much pain to me.

I feel his arms wrap around me from the back while he rests his head upon mine as he holds me in a warm, tight embrace that I have missed.

"I h-hate you! I fuckíng hate y-you!" I scream at him while I pound my fists against his chest, making him not flinch once at the hard hits. My clenched fists become lose as I grab onto his shirt, unable to stop sobbing.