How To Save A Life

Chapter Twenty-Five

I ignored my friends as we sat in the cafeteria. My eyes focused on Justin. He was acting like a complete prep. He wore my watch on his wrist and from afar I could tell that he ruined the leather. The anger was rising up in me. He stole a very special gift my dad got me and acts like his dad gave it to him. I watched the watch move with his arm every time he slapped his knee or clapped one of his friends hands. I couldn't take it anymore and my feet acted before I could. My friends stopped talking when they noticed that I stood up.

"Colin, what are you doing?" Matt asked.

I ignored him and walked over to Justin. My body was flaming with anger. I want my dad to have the watch when I die but he can't if it's still in Justin's possession. Justin and his friends stopped talking once I took the final steps in front of them. Justin just grinned and waited for me to speak.

"Can I have my watch back?" I tried to calmly ask. I didn't want to start too much drama.

He turned to his friends with a cackle and then turned back to me. "You mean this watch?" He said and held up his wrist with the watch on it.

I nodded. "Can I have it back? It was a very special gift from my dad."

He nodded. "Is your dad dead?"

I shook my head. "No."

"Then why is it so important to you?"

I sighed. "My dad spent a good amount of money on it so he could give it to me for my birthday."

He looked at his wrist and took the watch off, holding it out to me. "Okay, here you go." I went to take it from him but he quickly pulled his hand away and started laughing along with his friends. "Did you really think I was going to give it to you that easy?"

'Just give it back. You're being very immature."

"I'm being immature?" He said and pointed at himself. "You're the one being immature."

I rolled my eyes. "This is so stupid." I went to try and make a fast move to grab the watch but Justin was fast to grab my wrist and twist it. "Let go of me," I calmly said. I didn't want to show any sign of weakness.

"Fine," He said and pushed me down to the floor.

I was quick to get back to my feet. "You shouldn't have done that," I said and pinned him against the table. He tried to push me off but my anger was too strong. I felt several arms wrap around me and lift me away from Justin. I turned my head to see several jocks lifting me up in the air and shouting. "What are you doing?" I shouted at them.

They ignored me and started tossing me around. They pushed me back and forth. They threw punches at me every once in a while. I wanted to pull a gun out and shoot all of them.

"That's it!" I heard Matt yell. I could hear his footsteps walking towards us. "Let go of him!"

"Or what?" One of the jocks said.

I saw Matt pretend to think for a moment before pushing the jocks hard. This caused them all the shift and drop me. I grunted as I hit the floor. The jocks tried to charge at Matt but Matt just punched them. Matt stopped after a while and walked over to Justin who was in shock. "I'll take that." He reached over and took the watch from Justin and walked over to me, helping me up. "Here," He said and handed me the watch once I was to my feet.

I took it and just looked at him in shock. "What just happened?"

"There's a lot you don't know about me," He led me back to our table. "Come on." Josh and Kyle looked just as shocked as everyone else in the cafeteria. I should've expected this to come from Matt. The dude is tall, the same height as Justin. Though he's thinner than him, Matt did have some muscle on him. You could say that Matt is the exact opposite of my appearance.

***

4/21/16

Some people never fail to amaze me. Matt got his revenge on the jocks but that still won't prevent to massacre from happening. Now that they know what my friends and I are capable of, they should watch their backs. They're going to be the first people killed. They messed with the wrong student.

I had another dream of the massacre. It gets more vivid the closer we get to it. It was less than a month until my international judgement day. This time, the dream was about the families. I dreamed of parents standing near the school, crying as gunshots were heard. I even saw my mom, dad, and even Luke looking terrified. A police officer was walking over to the parents and said they identified who the shooters were. Parents paid close attention as they waited for the names. Colin Cortes and Matthew Taylor. Some parents continued crying for their children while my parents and Luke had their hands to their mouths in disbelief. Not wanting it to be true. They hoped they had heard it wrong and even asked the officer if he was sure. When he said, he was 100% sure, saying that several of their surviving classmates had pointed them out. My mom was crying and my dad and brother hugged her. The police officer asked if one of the shooters was their son and my family just nodded. Not saying a single word.

The dream shifted over to Matt and I inside the school. The bombs have blown up the library and Matt and I walked around the school. Trying to get to students who hid in the classrooms. Bodies were covered in dust and blood all over. The damage has been destructive. Matt and I were walking aimlessly. Shooting at anything that moved. The whole school was turning into a two-man war zone. People were barricading themselves. It was quite a sight. We showed no signs of emotion. We didn't care anymore. It looked like we were just finishing up and planning out a place to do the final shot. The last thing I was ever going to feel was a bullet going through my head.

It shifted back over to the outside of the school. Parents were crying more as the police read off the list of the deceased. Another police officer walked over and said that they have found the shooters. The officer proceeded to say the shooters were dead. That they shot themselves. My parents and brother stood there, hugging each other. Tears running down their faces. The officer then said that the surviving students are either at the field down the road from the school or at the hospital.

I know the dream isn't real but at the same time it's as real as it gets. These parents will be having these reactions. My family will be devastated when they find out I am one of the shooters. It's more like I'm predicting the future. The dreams seem to be preparing me for all the reactions I will cause. Other parents with children who are alive in the school will be so glad when the officers announce that the shooters are dead. My parents will be upset. I could tell that other parents were going to judge them. Saying that they should've kept a better eye on me or something.

If the dreams are trying to convince me out of the massacre, it's not going to work. I worked too long and hard to do this. This is the way I want to go out. The dreams aren't going to stop my suicidal and homicidal thoughts. They'll just give me some remorse. But, it won't work. I have no plan for the future. At least when I do this I will not have to worry about it.

This is my life. This is my future. I know people will hate me and some people will feel bad for me and some people will even be inspired by me. Nothing is going to stop this shooting from happening.

Just a few more weeks.

KNOW THE SIGNS:

-Homicidal and suicidal ideations

-Being over-aggressive and/or lacking self-control.

-Lack of coping, anger management and/or conflict resolutions skills.

-Perpetrators of self-harm or violence towards others may be victims to long-term bullying and may have real or perceived feelings of being picked on or persecuted by others.