How To Save A Life

Chapter Four

The thing about the school library is that they have books that I think should not be in a high school library. But, apparently enough students do school projects on guns that they had to add them to the library shelves. Every book I have read in the library have been on weapons such as guns and bombs and the librarian never questioned or worried about it. She most likely thought that I have a fascination towards guns or that I like to do school projects on them. Once in my creative writing class I wrote a short story about a homicidal teenager who went on a killing spree. What my teacher didn't know was that all that has come from my real and daily thoughts that I just turned into a story for class. I somehow got a high passing grade for it. I don't know why my school is like this.

The book I was reading was a book on how to manage weapons and build pipe bombs. I've read before that you shouldn't buy the products to make a pipe bomb all at once and try not to shop at the same store or else a person gets suspicious. That tip became very useful.

"Hey," I heard a chair move across from me and I knew someone was sitting in it. I was scared to look up because it was the voice I knew way too well. "I'm Mikayla."

I looked up from my book to see the girl who kept asking if I was okay after a bullying incident. I knew who she was. We've gone to school together since kindergarten. "Hi, I know who you are and I don't care." I paused for a moment and looked back at my book. "And, how many times do I have to tell you not to talk to me?"

"I just wanted to say that I saw how those guys were treating you. Are you okay?" Why does she care so much. I barely know her.

"It's none of your business," I said, not looking up at her. All I wanted was for her to leave so I can continue reading.

"What's that you're reading?" She asked and leaned over a bit to get a better view of the cover. I could see her frown as she leaned back. "Is everything okay? Why are you reading a book about guns and pipe bombs?"

I looked up at her. The concern look on her face explained so much. "So? I like guns. You got a problem with that?"

She nodded, something I wasn't really expecting but at the same time I was. "Actually, I kind of do."

I slammed my book shut and got up to walk to the book shelf with the other weapon books. I could hear her slide her chair out and follow me. I didn't look at her as I tried to read the names of the books. "Why?" Was all I could say at the moment.

She shrugged. "It's kind of scary. Seeing you read this stuff and making death threats to the jocks in the hallway. Looks to me as if something is wrong."

I turned my head slightly towards her. Just enough that I could check the books and look at her at the same time. "Everyone says that they'll kill someone when they're angry. It's human nature."

She nodded. "Then you must be angry at Justin all the time because you tell him every day that you'll kill him."

I sighed and turned my head fully to her. "Why would you care? We're not even friends."

She crossed her arms. "Well, I do."

"So, I have a fascination for guns and I tell the kid who bullies me on a daily basis that I'll kill him. He takes it as a harmless threat."

She nodded. "Well, is it?"

"Don't you have anything better to do?" I said and grabbed a book on how to assemble pipe bombs before heading back to the table, sitting down and instantly opening the book.

She sat down in the chair across from me, worry still in her eyes. "I just want to know what's going on. I want to help."

"Well, I'm passed help," I said and started reading my book.

"Maybe you should tell someone." She was making me reading very difficult.

I slammed my book shut on the table, looking strong eyed at her. "Don't you think I did that? They all said the same thing. That boys will be boys."

"Maybe, if you discussed how serious it gets-"

"No. We only have a few more months of school," I cut in. "Let me deal with it. Okay?"

She shook her head. "I don't think you will."

"I don't need your pity." I stood up and made my way to the library desk to check-out the book so I can read it in peace.

"I know something is up," She said from behind me while the librarian was marking my book. She handed it back to me when she was done and I made my way towards the library exit.

"Just leave me alone," I said and pushed the doors open and walked out. And, to my surprise, she didn't follow me this time. Hopefully the nagging will finally stop but I have a feeling it isn't over yet.

KNOW THE SIGNS:

-A strong fascination or obsession with firearms can be a warning sign.

-Excessive study of firearms and mass shootings can mean a person is planning violence.

-Extreme feelings of isolation or social withdrawal due to real or perceived actions of others can lead to further withdrawal from society.