Cashed » Lip Gallagher [2]

»part 7 » out of body

Lip places his hand over my forehead, "You're burning up."

"It could be the flu or something," I mumbled, trying to avoid his eyes.

He places his hand under my chin, forcing me to look at his eyes. His blue eyes bore into me like they're trying to figure me out. His eyebrows are bent in confusion and his mouth is slightly open. The connection that we once had is still there. It's faint but it's there. I can still feel it as his eyes scan my face and I know he feels it to because the next thing he says takes me by surprise.

"You're high." He says in a dry tone before letting my chin go.

My mouth goes dry. He knows. After all these years, he can still see me better than anyone else. I should have known better than to come here high out of my mind.

I gulp, "You're crazy."

I move from under his hold, trying to escape the truth like always. I can't even begin to talk about this right now. Not with him.

I stand and move towards his water bottle that's sitting on his desk. With shaky hands, I take a drink, and hope he'll move on. But that's only wishful thinking because Lip would never let anything go. Not when it's about this.

I hear him stand behind me, "I lived with Monica and Frank, for fucks sake, Cash, I know what that look is."

His voice isn't angry which takes me by surprise. There's a pain in his soft tone that makes me think that maybe he isn't upset. Maybe he's hurt?

His pain makes me want to not talk about it even more.

"It was just one line, Lip. Don't worry, I'm fine. It was just getting a little hot in here." I take another drink trying to wash down my guilt.

He moves closer, "Your eyes are crazy dilated. You look strung out."

I pull my bottom lip in between my teeth as fear sets in.

"Cash, you've been afraid of that shit ever since you were a kid. You told me you would rather drop dead than ever do hard drugs. What's going on?"

I can feel tears prickle behind my eyes and suddenly I have the urge to vomit again but I can't. I can't even open my mouth because I'm afraid the truth will spill out and I'll be left alone to pick up my pieces. Lip Gallagher grew up with two crazy ass people who did drugs and drank liquor like water, and with everything going on with Fiona, there's no way he could handle my shit. I wouldn't do that to him. I couldn't.

Lip stands there and stares at me like a stranger. His eyes bent in confusion and hurt.

I feel a deceitful tear slip down my cheek and I suddenly feel the need to change subjects, "You called me over here for a reason, right? What was wrong?"

"Cash, you can't just-,"

I stop him, "Is everything okay at home? Is Liam okay?" I need to take the attention off of me before I explode into a puddle of my own pride.

He stares at me with a strange look before exhaling and giving up, "Liam's fine. It's Fiona..."

Relief floods my mind while he starts to talk about something that isn't about me. I move to sit next to him on his bed, my shoulder pressed against his.

"She went on a bender," His eyes stare into space, "I guess she freaked out and just left."

I furrowed my brows, "Did she come home?"

"She was gone for a while but I had to go find her before the cops did." His voice sounded like defeat.

He was silent and I didn't know what to say. It wasn't like Fiona to just disappear like Frank. She was always the one with her head on her shoulders but I guess she hasn't been acting like herself recently. I wonder what demons she's trying to run from.