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"She said my spirit doesn't move like it did before..."

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Today is the start of new beginnings.

Desolate in the past are my addictive ways and negative thoughts that contorted me into a person that I hardly recognized. From here on out, no more will my destructive ways prevail and leave agony in my wake. I've worked hard to re-invent this new Cash and it's time to improve.

A few weeks after my fight with Sammi and my truths with Lip, Julian and I decided to move into the apartment above the Chinese restaurant. It took a lot of coaxing to not only agree to live above a place that smells like shrimp, but also to gain the courage to actually move. I'd be lying if I said I didn't have my doubts, especially after Lip and I's heart to heart but something told me this would be good for me. I needed to get out of the Gallagher home and start a new life.

Not long after Lip's honesty about pulling away from me when I needed him most, he left – again. It wasn't a surprise watching him walk out that door – but I couldn't shake the tugging sensation I felt in my chest when the door closed. His confession to me meant more than words could possibly mean. It gave me hope that not only did he still care for me, but there would be a chance to rebuild. And this time in a healthy way. Except, I didn't tell him about my big plans with Julian. Maybe I was being selfish, or maybe I was being stupid, but I knew how Lip would react. He cared for me in a protective way but not in a way that fulfilled my needs. None the less, he would be less that excited to hear about my moves.

I would tell him when the time was ready.

But for now, I have to take the right steps to re-inventing myself. And this time, I'm starting with facing my old demons.

Ty.

The night Julian and I moved all of our stuff into the new apartment, I told him everything. Okay well not everything, but I told him about California and my mishaps with Ty Rose. I was practically biting my nails off my finger thinking about what he would think. But to my dismay, he didn't run for the hills with his tail between his legs. He was actually understanding. So a week later, after building long enough pride, I texted Ty to meet me at the pizza shop we once argued over the delicacy that was pineapple pizza.

As I waited for Ty in the back of the shop, I anxiously texted Julian with various emoji's including repetitive middle fingers. Between our late sober nights at the Alibi, and long nights arranging our new space, Julian and I have grown fond of each other. Our relationship has only strengthened since the move. We talk about anything and everything. Our childhood, our high school experiences, his school, my job.

The only thing we don't talk about? Our addictions.

I was deep in thought as I stared down at Julian's eggplant emoji text that I almost didn't hear Ty clear his throat. I quickly snapped up from my phone to see him standing outside the booth with a hesitant smile on his face.

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