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''Cause we were just kids when we fell in love, not knowing what it was...' - Ed Sheeran - Perfect

The corpse of an addict lives inside me

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The corpse of an addict lives inside me.

She's frail and boney. Her cheeks are sunken in and her eyes have rotted out of her head. What was left of her ratty hair is now laying underneath her broken skull. Her limbs are all bones and there are rats eating at what's left of her. Her black heart is deflated and slowly turning to ash.

She was addicted to anger and rage. All of my teenage years, I feared of drinking too much and taking drugs because I didn't want to feed her. But I guess I was feeding her all along. She fed off of my actions. The ones that destroyed all of my relationships and my sanity. The actions that caused me to chase away all the people I love. I let her win. Knowing me, I fed her damn well considering I lived in a constant state of hate. My heart was filled with hate and hurt and that's what she loved. She ate that shit up. But now? Now she's simply a corpse that sits in the corner of my mind. She's dead and so is the old Cash.

I'm a new person now. The old Cash is dead and gone. The old Cash is the corpse that's sitting in the corner of my mind.

I'm no longer addicted...at least I think so.

~

"Okay, sweetie, make sure you don't lose Renee. Remember, she was nice enough to volunteer to go with you." My mother nagged my ear off through my iPhone.

I rolled my eyes and opened up the window on the plane, "Yeah, I know, mom." The second we got to the airport she was flooding my phone with cautious warnings and motherly love. She's overbearing now. She smothers me with love every chance she gets but it's all an act.

"Seriously, Cassandra, don't leave her behind. I know how you get around those boys." Her voice twisted in disgust as she mentioned the people I left behind.

I let out an aggravated sigh, "Yeah, okay." I'm debating on whether or not to toss this fancy ass phone out the plane. I looked over at my step sister shoving her ridiculously large carry on in the overhead bin. I rolled my eyes because I told her a million times not to pack so many clothes. She was relentless. 

"Oh honey, don't forget to take your p-," She started in a worried tone.

"Mom! I know, okay? You've been telling me for the past hour and I haven't forgotten. Chill." I sighed and rolled my eyes. I needed to end this call, "Mom, the flight attend is giving me dirty looks, I gotta go."

"Fine, sweetie. Just remember, I love-,"

Nope. I ended the call as quickly as I could. She never used to say that before she married Jim. Now it's practically in every other sentence she speaks to me. She does it all for her husband. If her husband got a sniff of the trash she used to be, he go running for the hills and leave her no money behind. She's a bored housewife now and she would give anything to keep it that way.

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