Chapter Five.

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Chapter Five.


A soft knock came from my door as I was currently lying in bed, music blasting through my ears. Sighing in frustration, I pulled the earphones out before stomping over to the noise, was I ever going to get to sleep?                                                                                                                                                  Jaynie's telling off had worn me to the bone and I was grounded for a month, not mention the school was giving me a last warning or I'd get kicked out which just the cherry on top of my shit cake.                                                                                                                                                                                            I cracked the creaky door open, slightly embarrassed by the noise.                                                      "Erm I couldn't sleep" Ashby whispered, standing in front of me and Jesus Christ she was  in only a vest and shorts, her legs looked so smooth and the way the shorts fitted to her were like she invented them.                                                                                                            I felt my body tremble inside but this time in a flushed way, this girl was killing me. I moved so both my arms leaned on each side of the door frame to support myself, though it did look a bit cocky but I was trying to cover up the way she had such control over my body                                                                                                                             "So?" Was all I could say normally.                                                                                                      "I was just erm... wondering if we could talk?" She replied as she shifted her weight from side to side, I thought for a moment suddenly noticing that she was trying look everywhere but my body, had she never a shirtless guy before? She had a brother for god sake... but then again her brother was Robert.                                                                        I might not had been to the gym in a couple months but I was in alright shape even if I much preferred how my body looked when I was on the basketball team, I really needed to remind myself to go to the gym sometime.                                                          "Sure" I said after a moment of daydreaming and writing lists before stepping out the way and she came inside and when she was in I closed the door behind me, quietly this time. As I looked back around, I noticed she had already placed herself on the edge of my bed which made me all different types uncomfortable watching her sit there.                                                                                                                                                                    I felt like my room was a bombsite but nothing was on the floor; my walls were plain blue and I had a wardrobe that seemed to be full of clothes but when coming to find the one thing I wanted I could never find it. I also had a desk that was packed with homework right now-it was all done before you think anything and my bed had black covers on them. For a guy, my room was surprisingly tidy, I mean my bed was unmade but it was only because I was about get fully undress and go to sleep so I was sort of glad I had waited to get undress now.                                                                Although, right now my brain was finding it hard to function what was happening, Ashby was the first girl ever to come into my room.                                                                  Her eyes flickered up to me, her mouth opening slightly and then she looked away again.                                                                                                                                                       "What?" I spoke moody tone which even surprised me right now but this girl pissed me off I couldn't tell what she was thinking, ever and now she wouldn't even look a me? Sighing I mentally face palmed myself for my shitting mood unleashing itself and sat down next to her, she needed me right now and I wasn't helping.                          "You know for someone who wants to talk you're very quiet" I told her, she twisted her body to face me, her bare leg brushing up mine which sent pins and needles through my whole body and the strap of her bra slipped down her arm before she pulled it up again; I found myself staring at her shoulder then to her chest, the vest was low but not purposely like most girls would've done around a guy or seems like in general nowadays.                                                                                                                               "Do you own a top?" She blurted suddenly and in an instant her cheeks flushed a deep crimson. I gulped, the colour suited those cheek bones.                                          "Don't tell me you're shy" I tried to joke while laughing as I nudged her shoulder with mine.  She turned crossed legged on the side to face me now dead serious.                       "Yes" She spoke directly to me, her eyes were locked on mine and my nerves had awaken again by her look. Clearing my throat I stood up and pulled a shirt on from my wardrobe.                                                                                                                                          "Happy?" I spat, like she had the right to say anything with them shorts and vest, she was showing all kinds of skin! And I wasn't telling her to cover up.                                  "Why are you here, Ashby?"
"I'm worried about my brother"
"And you thought I'd care? Look I'm not exactly the-gives-a-shit type of guy" I told her, she opened her mouth once or just to then close it again, thinking of what to say to that.                                                                                                                                                              "I notice you beat up good looking captains of teams if that helps? And anyway I had no one else to talk to" She whispered, Gods now I felt bad. Although, she stood up for herself pretty well, something I hadn't expected. Returning back next to her while sighing, I thought of how to reply.                                                                                                  "One captain of the basketball team. You make me sound like a serial beater of athletic captains. Anyway, why you worried about him?" I asked, laughing the first part and she laughed with me that too; I had never heard her laugh before, it sounded beautiful just like everything about her, I wanted her to always have that expression then I realised what I had just said and how it made me think of my Dad.    Yeah now I was going to vomit.                                                                                                        Distracting myself, I looked back at her and she looked up at me with them eyes causing me to fall right into them.                                                                                                "Jaynie is on about if Robert's behaviour doesn't change then she can't look after him here anymore. He'll have to move" She explained causing me to be taken back a second. Jaynie would do something like this? Jaynie the woman who put up with me? Even after what happened today?                                                                                    "Why's that then?" I replied curious now because Jaynie must have a valid reason for this, she could tell a lot of us kids so what was the worst Robert could do?                         Ashby ran her shaking hands through the glossy mane of hers; how I wanted to pulled them out from her hair and hug her.                                                                                    "It's mostly the mornings. He just needs to get up and ready without you know what happen today? Because that makes him a danger towards the other kids" She continued and it was had to watch because she looked like she was going to have a meltdown.                                                                                                                                                  "Have you told Robert this?" I asked unsure how I could help her right now.
"He told me to kill myself" I stole a breath in as I felt my blood boil. What the hell was wrong with him? Suicide was never something you should just say freely, it was a serious thing, after all I knew the effects of it, my mother had killed herself but this wasn't about me, it was about the person sitting right next to me. To be going through all this and him not caring, I sure as hell didn't see the point in why she did anything for him or was getting upset about this.                                                            "Maybe it would be best then?" I prompted because if I ever saw that kid again I think I'd go for him as well, he'd probably end up worse than Clayton.                                          "Best? He should be with family... he should be with me" She spoke defensively, what was going inside this girl's head? Robert was out of control by the sounds of things. I wanted to argue back but then I also I didn't want to fall out with her, it was like a double edge sword.
"You have a life too" I reminded her gently, in response her head droop into her lap.
"I need to at least try, Donnie" She replied, the desperation overwhelmed me; it was like I could feel her breaking, I felt cold like I was standing outside in my boxers in winter time.                                                                                                                                                   "I-I could try and help?" I suddenly offered,where the fuck had that idea come from as I certainly hadn't thought about it. She breathed in before straightening up, her eyes filled with tears. Holy shit. She even looked beautiful with that expression on her face; how could I even think that when she was on the verge of crying? But oh man she did and being the idiot I was I didn't know what to do when girls cried.          "I didn't mean it to sound like I was trying to push you to it or anything. Oh god, I'm such an jerk you have your own stuff going on with that Clayton/ Captain guy. You don't need me rambling on" She protested, her hands shaking around in front of me before she pushed up and without even realising I had taken her hands in mine, they were so light and cold now, I pulled her back down.                                                                    "I know.Its called an offer and I've taken care of Clayton, trust me" I replied smiling with teeth, something I did rarely even after all the expense that had been paid on braces to make them straight.                                                                                                                  In the present, my body had gone numb and I felt stupid as soon as the words left my mouth. I looked back to find her eyes wide and looking at me which caused my smile filled with weakness now.                                                                                                                      Though to my surprise she pushed up on her knees again and then suddenly they were around my waist. In shock I fidgeted under height presence but it had only moved her more into me. What the fuck was happening right now? I mean this is probably what I wanted but I didn't expect it to happen, not so soon anyway. I gulped feeling my chest rising and falling rapidly before I dared to meet her eyes; they had never looked so green practically glowing against her skin. She ran her hands through my hair, it felt so gentle and soothing all my left over anger was just flowing out in calm waves, just by her touch I hadn't felt this soothed or clear headed in a long time and I couldn't believe how close she was to me. However, my mind may have been all zen but body also had a mind of its own, grabbing her bare thighs and in an instance she was on her back, lying on my bed. That noise she let out was so unfair and her vest had ridden up showing a tone flat stomach. I controlled my breathing, barely. I so badly wanted to kiss her -more than kiss her- I leaned down to place my lips on her soft looking ones, the tip of my bottom lip touched hers.                A screamed coursed through the house  causing Ashby snap below me, quicker than I did.                                                                                                                                                                      "Robert!" She gasped before scrambling away from me and out the door. I ran after her as she headed into Robert's room but only I found myself standing awkwardly in the hall way as Jaynie rushed in after her in her pink, Bambi pyjamas and dressing grown, bedhead hair around her face, making her look so much younger behind her was leg's girl in a plain pink nightie with teddy bear in hand and mommy's boy was in blue dinosaur pyjamas too, rubbing his eyes. I hesitated stepping forwards wary of what I might see; I managed to get to the door to find Robert wrapped up in Ashby's arms as he lay against her chest, rocking him back and fourth. His room looked like mine layout wise, although his walls were painted black and plastered with heavy metal posters.Who could blame him. Andy Biersack could be pretty wicked with lyrics and My Chemical Romance were a classic. Also different to my room was the mess, it looked like something had exploded in here. Uniforms flung everywhere along with other clothing. An acoustic guitar lay on the floor all six strings snapped.I stepped in closer and that when I noticed his bed; the covers were now around him as Ashby soothed him and I couldn't help but feel twinge of jealousy by the way she held him; one hand around his head, running her finger tips up his undercut to the longer part of his raven hair and another around his body. I looked back to the bed; in the lower part of the fitted sheet was a large wet patch. He had wet the bed.                I couldn't help but feel guilty,all those times I had called him names along with the other people at this care home but I never realised how much they need help or ever considered the problems they faced.Something clicked in me.                                    "Alright kiddie winks nothing to see here. Back off to bed" Jaynie said her arms pushing us out the door before shutting it behind us. The urge to turn back round to see if Ashby was okay was almost too much but I managed to end up in my own bed. The bed I was so freaking close to kissing her in.



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