The New Girls: The New Trouble

Advise??

First of all, this is just me venting about a girl. So if you wish to continue to read this, please do and if you have any advice, it's well needed. But if you choose not to read it, I'll have a chapter up either early tomorrow or late tonight.

     Hey guys, I know this isn't the update that you, hopefully, wanted, but I will definitely get one out early tomorrow. (If not I'll let you find me and kick/hit me wherever you please.) I know I haven't been too good with updating, but I kind of have a big thing I've been thinking of. As I've said before, I seriously like this girl. Like, more than anyone in my life. Not even my family comes anywhere near as much as I care for her. But I'm getting mixed signals from her. And I just need to vent. Basically, on December 11th will be one year since I've really liked her. Yes, call me desperate, but I do keep track of important dates. Anyways, we've started to grow closer over a school trip we took a couple months ago. It's like, we had never talked before then, but so suddenly she walks with me (and her previous boyfriend. They broke up thank goddess.) and talks to me everyday. I kinda got the feeling she liked me too one night when we were at the camp shop and we were laughing and talking about red bull to see if they had any, and putting on bike helmets backwards. We got on the topic of sharing drinks, and she's talking about how she doesn't mind it because it's like kissing someone (completely obscure to me because I'm a loner haven't kissed someone) but she then proceeded to ask for some of my drink not a minute later. Then a few more times over the trip. Later that night we had a night hike to see the stars, one of my favourite things to do, and we laid down on two benches next to each other. We just talked for hours and sat in silence without the awkward part and it was absolutely amazing. Like nothing I've ever experienced. Then, out last night there, we were eating dinner. Now, I had made friends with the owners two little daughters. I believe they were 3 and 5. The youngest one came running up to me after and wanted me to carry her. So I did and she fell asleep. My crush was smiling at me the whole time this was going on. She walked up and smiled again. "You're really good with kids. It's cute." She smiled at me. At this point I'm like, this cannot get any better, I'm so getting some (it's a joke, chill.) She asked to hold her, so I gently handed over the small child. Mc (my crush) rested her shoulder on mine to get the small infant and stood in front of me while cradling it or whatever you call it. I, being the socially awkward person I am, went and sat back down because I was drenched at this point, from being so nervous. We talk everyday now and in our Latin class, she went from not noticing me at all, to walking in and sitting next to me. Her friend had a seat open and she sat next to me. Not her friend. I'm kinda freaking out at this point. Today I was running after football (soccer) practice to get water and she watched me run into the building, then took her attention away from the video she was watching with friends, to watch me run back around a corner to where I was sitting. And when she had to go, she kept looking back at me while I looked at her. I mean come on, how could I not, she is insanely beautiful and smart and kind and just, UHGH! I just get pissed at people calling her names behind her back like slut, bitch, etc. It kills me that she doesn't know some of her friends do it too. I just don't know. I really like this girl and I'd do anything for her. If she died, I don't know what I'd do. I've gotten 2-4 hours of sleep every day since I met her. I stay up, staring at my ceiling, wondering if she's thinking about me like I do her. I wonder if I'm driving her as insane as she is me. I wonder if she even thinks about me at all. Probably not, but I really hope so. I've had some small crushes before, but they've been nothing like this. I'm young and I know it, but I'm really hoping this is the one. It feels so different than anything I've ever felt before. It gives me shivers all over and heat flashes and the cold sweats. Basically pure hell. But I cannot get enough of it. I just need some held figuring it out. Thanks guys if you read it. I really need some advise on this. My school friends are of no use to this. Thank you and sorry for not the proper upload!