Finding Me {Niall Horan} completed

Chapter Eight: I'm Just Me

Why do things have to be so fucking hard? Life shouldn't be easy I know but why can't there be easy moments. Niall is great, he's nice, caring and carefree. But he is a celebrity, someone who can't get around without being mobbed. How does he even deal with it? I'm just me, plain Ellie who tries her best to be tough for everyone, who tries to be different and have a good humour. I try so hard, maybe that's why life isn't easy, I can't be my true self no matter what I try. I can't be with Niall.

I still go ahead with the idea of going to Ireland with Niall and Mads, I still agree to go out for dinner while we are there. I prepare myself mentally for hate that I will get if I'm spotted with Niall, the rumours will spread quickly and I will have to deal with it for the rest of my life, I know that. As I pack my diary into the bottom of my suitcase followed by my clothes and personal belongings my phone rings. I chuck the clothes I'm holding into the suitcase and run to answer my mobile.

"Hello?" 

"Hey my favourite twin, has Niall left yet?"

"No, he will be leaving in about an hour though, why?" I reply, knowing that Sean will drag this conversation on for as long as he can.

"Tell him that I wish him a safe flight."

"Is that all? No dragging the conversation? No teasing, or talking about random shit?" I ask, wow I'm impressed that's all he wants to say.

"I can if you-"

"NO!!! Okay bye Sean, I'll pass your message on!" Before another word can be said I hang up and throw my phone onto my bed and groan as I continue packing my suitcase. 

As I zip my suitcase up there is a knock at my door, I spin around and leaning against the door frame is Niall, the sweet innocent Niall who doesn't realise how much I'm hating this moment.

"Yes Niall?" I ask while standing up and bracing myself for a long and important conversation.

"The date's going to mean nothing to you isn't it?" He asks with a blank expression, as I remain silent he looks down.

"Niall-" I begin but stop when he turns around and walks out of view. I shake my head and drag my suitcase out of the room and down the hallway. I leave it by the front door and walk into the loungeroom. Although no one is in there I still sit down on the couch and stare at the ground. Niall and I, we just don't go together. I don't think it's just the fact that he is famous, okay maybe that might be the  only reason but I know that we have nothing in common, maybe apart from the music side of things but how can that count? Mads and Niall have more of a future than I would have with Niall, oh here we go. I have an amazing plan, and it'll work!

I start the car up and I wait patiently for Niall to get in, Mads is beside me in the passanger seat and Niall is in the back, it's for the best. If paparazzi saw him in the car with me who knows what would happen, besides he is wearing a hoody so he is barely visible from the outsides of my car. As we get closer to the airport I decide to speak up and break the silence that's been haunting us this whole time. 

"Niall, if I go on this date with you, will you go on one with Mads?"

"ELLIE!!!" Mads screams immediately after I finish talking.

"What? You don't have the guts to ask him on one so I figured I may as well ask for you. Besides I think you would be cute together!" I say in a calm voice whilst continuing driving. I hear Niall chuckle from behind me.

"Why not, but then I feel bad for going on two different dates with two different girls. Like I'm almost cheating on the two of you." Niall says while laughing.

"Well then think of mine as not a date but just a day out, maybe we can go to some relaxed place that isn't date worthy." I add, hoping that we change it from date to hang out. 

"Okay..." Niall said with a sigh. "I guess that's what I'll have to do." Somewhere in his voice I could hear that he was hurt, but I'm not going to allow myself to feel bad. This is almost like a love triangle, Mads likes Niall, but Niall likes me. However in this triangle it ends with me because I don't like anyone, JOY TO THE WORLD I'M A SINGLE PRINGLE!!! I'LL NEVER GET MARRIED!!! MY KIDS WILL NEVER EXIST, MY CATS WILL RULE MY LOUNGE!!! AND I'LL BE ALONE FOREVER!!! (For it to work you need to sing it in the actual tune to the actual song. Hehe)

"ELLIE!!! Earth to Ellie!" I snap out of my thoughts as Mads starts screaming my name. 

"Yes..." I moan, hoping that they didn't notice my face when I thought of my single life. 

"Please tell me you didn't just sing your single song in your head." Whoops...

"Pfft, no. Never, why would I do that?" I asked.

"Because we were talking to you but you weren't answering and I know how your face looks when you sing that horrid song." Mads explained... BUSTED!!! 

We talk about random things for the rest of the drive and once we arrive at the airport Niall shows me the way to go to get to the private area, he has to show his pass to a few people here and there but other than that we get through smoothly and quickly. As we walk through into the lounge I hear dimmed screaming and I look over at Niall and he looks incredibly worried. 

"The fans somehow know I'm here." Niall whispers as we are led through many empty lounges. Once the security guard stops he tells Niall something and then leaves, I look at Niall for answers as to why fans are here.

"Niall, the screams are getting louder." Mads says from the couch which she plonked herself on. 

"It's alright they don't know which lounge I'm in, nor what plane we are boarding. Just letting you know your suitcases plus mine are heading to the plane right now. When the plane is about to leave we will be brought on, not many people are booked for this plane and we are going business class so we won't be around that many people." Niall explains while joining Mads on the couch, I remain standing hoping to give them some space, not to mention I don't want to raise Nialls hopes. I lean agaist the window of which we can look out but no one can see in and it's funny watching heaps of people run past, I see some celebrities also running away from screaming fans, it's quite the scene.

About an hour passes before someone comes back into the lounge and asks us to follow him, before I know it we are sitting on the plane and it's starting to take off. This is the fourth time I've been on a plane but I've nevere flown business class so I decide to treat myself and I lay back and close my eyes.