Finding Me {Niall Horan} completed

Chapter Four: I Heard Something.

Man I never thought I would write about what I'm about to write in my diary! Today I heard something, I listened in to someone else conversation and I still feel slightly bad about it. It was Niall Horan, he was talking to someone about going back, wherever that is. He just wants a break, I mean he is a celebrity after all. However I feel slightly bad for him, he seemed really upset about it, he even swore. You know that feeling you get when you feel like not talking but just being in the presence of the person and enjoy that presence? Well that's me right now, I'm laying in my bed and writing while Niall is on his phone texting someone. Well I'll write later, have to get ready for the day ahead.

I placed my diary back under my pillow and stood up and walked to my bag.

"Sorry, I know I said I would leave but I needed to do something really quick." I said as I dug my hand into my bag. I selected my clothes for the day and walked out of the room and into the bathroom. I had a quick shower then got changed, I straightened my hair then applied some makeup. I left the bathroom and walked into the room again to find it empty. This is like the first time that I've been in here and it's been empty. I chucked my pajamas into my bed and ran out into the lounge room to find the remaining people sitting and chatting. 

Almost everyone left last night and only Mads, Niall, Sean, my sister Aimme and I remained. Aimee's daughter went home with Dan (Aimee's husband.) I sat next to Mads who was in a conversation with Niall which surprised me. Her and I both don't really see much in celebrities, sure we listen to music and watch movies but we don't really like their person.

"So you don't get much time to yourself then?" I heard Mads ask, then I remembered the conversation from earlier. I looked at Niall looking for his reaction and then I saw that his expression showed tiredness. Wow he looked really tired as he nodded and looked around the room.

"Yeah, this is my first long break in about a year, I'm going back to Mullingar tomorrow to spend the rest of my break with family. Although my management want me back with them, they are very controlling sometimes." Niall replies making eye contact with me for a split second. Does he know I heard everything? Did he sense my awkwardness?

"I'm so sorry, I couldn't live away from my family for a year, how do you do it?" Mads asks in a really sweet voice. Okay where is this girl getting to? I nudged her and immediately I saw her face turn red. I CAUGHT HER OUT!!! SHE SO LIKES NIALL!!! Oh my fuck! 

"Sorry to interrupt but I'm gonna steal Mads for a second." I say then pull Mads into the kitchen, she avoids my eyes as I look for them. "Something to tell me Mads?" I say smirking. She shakes her head and I chuckle.

I stand there staring at her for a while, her eyes dart all over the place. I've done this many times, whenever I want the truth I stare and get it out of her. 

"Fuck! You're creeping me out now Ellie!" She says covering her face. I laugh as she squirms around, YES YES I'M BREAKING HER!!! She shakes her head and I hear  her breath in and then let it all out slowly. "Fine... Niall is hot as hell! He seems different and he is really nice!" She blurts out quickly with a small smile playing around her lips. 

"I already knew that Mads, just tell me already, do you like him?" I ask staring at her again, she slightly nods her head and I cheer. "I KNEW IT I FUCKING KNEW IT!!!" I yell and run around with my hands in the air. I could hear Mads giggling from behind me as I continued my victory run. Without any warning I ran into the lounge room and pull a very confused looking Niall into the kitchen. 

"Ellie you just-" Mads started but stopped when she saw Niall in my grip. I turned and smiled at Niall and then his worried look disappeared and was replaced with a bright smile. I laughed and hugged him tightly then backed away and ran off. I ran around the corner and heard Niall laughing then heard him say something that I only just caught.

"She really is something isn't she." I paused, my breathing stopped. FUCK!!! Oh no, this is not good! This can't be happening, oh god! I sure hope he doesn't mean it in the way I know Mads is going to think of. For sure Mads will think he likes me but that's almost impossible, no one has liked me since 7th grade, and at that moment I made it very obvious that I didn't want any boy chasing me. Yes, very sad story but I've never had a boyfriend, I've been asked out once but I'm almost certain that was a dare, I don't think anyone would be interested in me anyway. In high school I was the 'tough, rude and sarcastic bitch.' But hey! Who the fuck cares what others think of me, obviously not alot but meh!

I remained silent, hoping that they wouldn't think I was still right there, I held my breath as I waited for someone to say something at least. The silence was killing me, words were slowly spilling out of my mouth. CONTAIN YOUR FUCKING WORDS ELLIE!!! I shouted to myself mentally as they almost slipped.

"That's why she is my best friend." I finally let my breath out, although she said it in a hurt expression at least she found the right words. And dayum right she is! Of course I'm her best friend. I walked off, not really wanting to hear anymore of their conversation. I walk outside and breathe in the fresh cold air, well congratulations Ellie you fucked up! 

A few minutes passed and I was getting coldish, I felt my face chilling quickly, I wanted to get up but I really couldn't be stuffed.

"Hey Ellie," I heard an Irish voice say from behind me. (Mentally hitting my head on a wall right now.) I turn and see Niall walking towards me, he sits beside me and rests his head in his hands.

"This is great." 

"What?" I ask as his words surprise me.

"Everything, getting away from crazy fans, fucked up Modest and just finally living a normal life." He says looking me in the eye. I nod my head quickly and take a deep breathe and then let it all out.

"Must suck sometimes, always being controlled." I say avoiding his eyes, I don't want him reading my thoughts.

"Haha you have no idea." Niall says with a small laugh. "But yeah, it does suck sometimes, being famous and all, it's... Let's just say crazy. Don't get me wrong I love it, I love being able to do what I love most and that's sing, I love meeting fans and spending time with some of them. I don't mind sitting in interviews or posing for photo's, I'm completely cool with rehearsals and shooting music videos, I love all that." Niall says once again looking at me straight in the eyes. My stomach turns as he puts his hand on mine. "I like how you're helping your friend, I know she is into me, I don't want to hurt her though. I don't like her back." Niall says while looking down at our hands. 

Slowly I pull my hand away, why am I letting his get this close to me? Why did I let him touch me in the first place? And why the fuck am I listening to a celebrity talk about their life? I nod my head and without saying a word get up and walk back inside, I see Mads off with the fairies with a massive smile plastered on her face. I take one last look outside and see Niall still sitting there, Mads is still day dreaming as I sneak past her and to my empty room.