Breaking the devastating mood created, you hear the sound of Dan's phone ringing. You watch as Dan's hand release yours and he reaches into his trouser pocket, retrieving his phone. He looks down at the screen, sighs and places it to his ear.
"Hey Phil" He says, trying to sound casual.
Your eyes fall to his chapped and faded lips, which he is nervously biting down on. You don't know what do. You literally can't imagine what is going on his mind right now and you are worried that he'll just give up on life. He could be gone soon and it feels so surreal, considering he is sitting next to you right now.
"Yeah, we'll be on our way home in a bit - just put the pizza in the microwave." Dan responds to Phil.
Your face feels numb with pain from holding back the tears but you know you have to keep them in - you need to stay positive for Dan. You lay on his shoulder and nuzzle into his neck, enjoying this moment while it lasts.
"Okay. We'll discuss it when we get home. Bye." Dan says, shutting off the phone.
"What was that about?" You question.
"Phil thinks I should make a video explaining to everyone what is going on." Dan sighs, "I knew I would have to eventually but I'm scared. What will people think of me?"
You lift your head and look up at him sincerely.
"They will think that you're brave and they will support you because you're an amazing person Dan. I wish you knew just how special you are to me, Phil and millions of other people around the world." You say.
"I guess so." Dan nods, "Anyway, we better get home."
You both get up off of the bench and you quickly grasp hold of his hand. This stops Dan and he looks down at you, tears in his eyes.
"What's wrong?" He asks.
Tears running down your cheeks, you force yourself to look up at him.
"Please do what's right Dan." You say, your lips now quivering.
Without a single word, Dan bends down and kisses you softly on your forehead.
"I will." He whispers.
He squeezes your hand and then guides you down the path, out of the empty park. You walk down the road shivering in silence.
~ Time Skip ~
After explaining to Phil his options, Dan reheats the pizza and lays it out on the table. You take a few pieces and put them on your plate but you can't even think about taking a bite. It makes you feel sick to the stomach and so you place your plate back down on the coffee table. You expect Dan and Phil to complain but instead, they do the same as you and place their filled plates on the table.
"Dan." Phil says, breaking the silence, "You need to tell your subscribers what is going on. You have been inactive for a while now and they are beginning to worry."
Dan slowly nods.
"I know." He responds, "But I can't do it alone."
He looks towards you both and smiles apologetically.
"Please do it with me."
You look at Phil who looks at you and you both nod at each other.
"We'll do it." Phil says, "Let's get it out of the way."
You all stand up from your sofa creases and walk towards the hallway. Phil walks into his room to get the camera and tripod, whilst you and Dan head towards Dan's bedroom. You sit down on the bed and wait for Phil to come. From the corner of your eye, you look at Dan's blank facial expression and his fidgeting legs. You reach out and grab a hold of his hand, to comfort him.
"You can do this." You say.
Phil walks in and sets up the the camera and tripod in front of Dan's bed and then sits down beside you both so that you are either side of Dan. Phil looks at Dan and Dan gives him a little nod. He reaches forward and presses the button on the camera and then sits back.
"Hello Internet." Dan says, gesturing towards the camera, "So this isn't going to be fun video to make. I know you guys have been asking where I have been and if I'm okay and I think it's gotten to the point where I need to be open with you guys about where I am at."
You watch as Dan shuffles and hesitates a little. You squeeze his hand tight and look to see Phil grasp a hold of his other hand.
"Firstly, I am sitting beside two of the most important people in my life. To my right is Phil, as you all know. Now, Phil has been there for me for so long and we have toured together and made a book together. I am so thankful to have him in my life otherwise I may not be where I am today in my YouTube career." Dan explains, "To my left, is my girlfriend, (y/n). I have known (y/n) since I was about 10 years old and she has seen me go through so many states and phases, it's surprising she actually has put up with me for this long!"
You let out a small, awkward laugh and smile at Dan.
"I love her a lot and she is what keeps me going." Dan says, "But unfortunately, it comes to a point in life where you can't continue to go on - you reach a dead end. I have been facing a challenging few months and I thought that I could overcome it alone, without anyone knowing. However, it hasn't worked out that way and you guys are also very important to me so I figured it's about time to tell you."
Dan takes a deep breath and looks at you. You give him a reassuring nod and he looks to Phil, who gives the same response.
"I have cancer." Dan says to the camera, "And I'm not going to tell you that I'll be fine because in all honesty, things aren't looking so good. I am facing the decision of surgery or death and even so, the risks of the surgery could make things worse. So, for now, I need to end this here. Making danisnotonfire has been amazing over the years and I am so overwhelmed and thankful with all of your support. Unfortunately, it's time to go. I hope you all understand and know how much I love you all."
You feel tears well up in your eyes and you look over to Phil to see a single tear falling down his cheek in sadness but then notice the small smile on his face from how proud he is of Dan.
"Goodbye Internet." Dan chokes out.
A/N So Dan has decided to call it quits on YouTube and he still has a big decision to make - accept death or have surgery. What do you think he'll go for? What is ahead? Find out soon and don't forget to comment your suggestions and vote if you enjoyed this chapter. Thank you!
~ Katie ;3
आप पढ़ रहे हैं
Afire Love // Dan Howell
फैनफिक्शन"It's really nothing" "If it's nothing Dan, why are you trying to hide it from me?" When a major event happens, turning Dan's life upside down, he must accept the help of Phil and yourself despite having his defenses up in order to protect your pot...
