"Dan!" You call out, approaching the bathroom door, "Dan, what's going on in there?"
You hear the loud flush of the toilet and the running of tap water as you wait patiently for him to leave. The lock is undone and the white door slowly creaks open, revealing a rather pale Dan. Slowly, he walks up to you and he sympathetically smiles.
"I don't mean to be rude Daniel but I want an explanation." You say sternly, your lips quivering.
You truly are worried about Dan and you just want answers. However, Dan clearly doesn't want to give you any.
"I guess sickness is a symptom from the medication I've been given..." Dan replies weakly.
You look up at Dan anxiously, knowing that there is something more. Why can't this be easier?
"Dan please tell me the truth." You beg, "Stop trying to protect me!"
Dan looks up, avoiding eye contact with you as if he feels guilty. What is going across his mind right now and why won't he just open up to you?
"Look." Dan sighs, looking down at you, "It's late okay and I need to get some sleep. I need some time to understand what's going on myself but I promise, I'll tell you all in good time."
What does he mean by that? Why must he make you wait any longer when he can clearly see how this is effecting you? You wanted to spend the week enjoying Dan's company but so far, nothing has gone right. The fact that Dan does know something that you don't makes you feel so worried about what is ahead. It's obviously nothing good.
Suddenly, Dan's long arms wrap around you as he pulls you in for hug, placing his chin on your head. You nuzzle into his chest and fiddle with the hem of his shirt, watching a single tear fall from your face and onto the fabric. Dan looks down at you and places a small, innocent kiss on your forehead. You look up at him and watch his smile fall a little when he sees the tears welling up in your eyes.
"Please stop worrying about me." He whispers softly, "I'm not worth your tears. I promise you, it'll all be over soon."
He strokes your cheek gently with the pad of his thumb and kisses you forehead again, reassuring you. He pulls you in closer for a moment and then he releases you.
"It's been a long ass day, so let's start fresh again tomorrow okay?" Dan suggests.
"Okay." You agree, wiping your eyes, "But promise me that you'll wake me up if you feel like something bad is going to happen again!"
"(y/n), nothing bad is going to hap-"
"Promise me."
Dan sighs and then smiles a little.
"I promise." He says, "Goodnight."
"Night" You reply, walking up the stairs.
Dan looks up at you with one final smile and then disappears off into his bedroom. You feel a little calmer now that you had a brief moment together. You just wish he would tell you already. Something is going on and it's scaring him. That scares you too.
Walking into Dan and Phil's office to see that they have already set up your bed and made room for your things makes a smile reappear on your face - they actually took the time to make you feel at home! After finding your jogging bottoms and pyjama shirt at the bottom of your rucksack and putting them on, you get under the warm covers layed out on the sofa bed and lay wide awake worrying, procrastinating and thinking about Dan.
No matter how hard you try to sleep, you just can't.
You toss and turn, trying to find a comfortable positon but your mind is all over the place. Eventually, you reach breaking point and you throw the covers off of you, allowing you to get out of the bed. You need to sort this out. You swing open the door and tip-toe down the stairs into the pitch black hallway, in search for the kitchen. Finding it, you open the glass door and walk over to the cupboard, take out a glass and fill it up with cold water from the tap.
As you go to take a swig from the glass, you hear an incredibly loud thud, making you jump out of your skin and spin around to see Dan holding his head.
"Ow!" Dan yelps.
"Did you just walk into the glass door?" You snigger.
Dan nods and begins grinning.
"Only you Dan!" You laugh, putting the glass of water down.
"Done it plenty of times!" Dan chuckles, "What are you doing up anyway?"
You shuffle you feet a little and fiddle with your fingers nervously.
"Couldn't sleep." You admit.
"Neither." Dan sighs.
You look up to see Dan with a guilty look on his face again. You know that you're both not sleeping for the same reason - fear.
"My mind just won't switch off and I can't get comfortable" You tell him.
"Yeah. I don't think I'll be dropping off anytime soon to be honest." Dan responds, "Do you wanna come into my room for a bit?"
You nod and follow him out of the kitchen, through the hallway and into his darkened bedroom. Dan traipses over to his beside lamp and switches it on, allowing you to make your way over to his bed.
"Come on." Dan says, patting the black and white bed sheets beside him, "Make yourself comfortable."
You lay down on the bed beside Dan and stare up the ceiling. You still have so many questions to ask him but you just don't know where to start. You hear the rustling of the covers as Dan turns over to face you.
"What's on your mind?" Dan whispers, grasping gently onto a strand of your hair.
"A lot."
Dan moves closer to you and looks deeply into your eyes, eager for some elaboration.
"I'm not gonna lie Dan, I care about you and the fact that I don't know what's going on in your head right now is killing me inside."
Dan's hand drops from your hair and he sits up slightly, adjusting his position slightly.
"I told you not to worry."
"Yeah but that's not gonna stop me from worrying though Dan!" You state, "I know that there is so much you're not telling me and it's hurting me that you don't trust me enough to tell me."
"It's not that I don't trust you (y/n)..."
"Then what is it?" You hiss, "Because I'm terrified for what's ahead."
"So am I!" Dan blurts out, "Okay, yes I am so scared of what could happen but I don't see why I should put all of that pressure on you!"
"Because I'm not the little girl you grew up with anymore Dan!" You exclaim, "I can look after myself and deal with situations perfectly fine!"
"But this situation isn't as easy as you would like to think (y/n)"
"Oh come off of it Dan!" You complain, "How bad could it possibly be?"
"You have no idea! If I was to tell you, you'd just worry even more!" Dan explains.
"Jesus Christ Dan, just tell me already and stop trying to protect me!" You cry.
Dan exhales and looks blankly at the ceiling as if so many ways of telling you the truth are circulating around his mind.
"You wanna know?" Dan says, his voice beginning to shake.
"Yes."
"I-"
A/N Haha sorry to leave it on a cliffhanger but so much already has happened in this chapter! What do you think is going on with Dan? Will he tell you? If you enjoyed this chapter please don't forget to vote and feel free to comment suggestions. Thank you again,
~ Katie :*
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Afire Love // Dan Howell
Fanfiction"It's really nothing" "If it's nothing Dan, why are you trying to hide it from me?" When a major event happens, turning Dan's life upside down, he must accept the help of Phil and yourself despite having his defenses up in order to protect your pot...
