13 - Newbie Hiker

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(Author: In honor of #ALDUBHappy1st, two updates today. Next update will come after midnight, Philippine time.)


Lesson learned, if you will be impusive, huwag mountain hiking piliin mo 'te. It's not for the faint of heart lalo na at hindi easy ang trail. Kahit magdecide kang bumalik, wala pa ring short cut - hindi ka ite-teleport sa bahay mo. Hindi siya parang kaning isusubo na puwedeng iluwa kung mapaso, bundok to 'te!  Ay teka iba yata yun.)


MENG

It's quite difficult to appreciate beautiful scenery when you're trying very hard to keep up with a group of guys who are expert in doing this. Ganito pala kahirap mag-mountain hikinh, grabe!!! Anong difficulty level na kaya tong trail na to? Jusko, easy pa pala yung kahapon papunta sa campsite. Ano to, extra challenge? Pinaparusahan na ba ko? Peace and quiet lang naman hanap ko. Pero dahil ginusto mo 'to Menggay, panindigan mo!

Kanina, nasa likod pa namin si Kuya Wally. Nainip na yata sa bagal at kahihinto namin. Ayun nauna na. Hindi ko sinasadyang huminto every 10 minutes, promise! Cross my heart, mamatay man yung asungot. Kasalanan ko bang parang tinatawag ako ng bawat bato na makikita ko sa tabi ng daan na puwedeng upuan?

Naputol ang muni-muni niya nang lumapit si Kuya Poch while she was carelessly slumped on a rock for the nth time in the last hour, drinking the last drop of water from her bottle. "Ano insan, kaya mo pa ba? Nasa finish line na yung mga kasama natin!"

"Oo, nasa finish line na! May tail tail pang nalalaman, mang-iiwan din naman pala! O sige tara na!" What she didn't know was that there was a sharp edge on the the rock she's sitting on when she moved her leg. "ARAY!!!!"

Kuya Poch was immediately beside her. "Ano nangyari?"

Meng bent down to look at her leg "Nagalusan ako sa binti, tumama dito sa bato....tsk, tsk. Hala! May dugo!"

"Anong galos? Sugat yan o! Naku, ano ka ba Meng! Wala pa naman tayong first-aid kit, meron tayo dito kikay kit! Teka, mauna ko, tawagin ko na lang sila sir RJ."

"NO!! Maliit na bagay to. Huwag na huwag mo silang tatawagin, sasapakin kita! Eto, tatalian ko na lang ng panyo. Ayan, ayos na yan." It hurts and she noticed that the blood is not stopping but she can't do anything at this point.

"Hindi ba masakit? Dumudugo pa o! Lagot tayo sa manager mo nito. Paano na ang flawless skin mo?"

"Flawless skin ka diyan! Binti ko ba pinangluluto ko? Galos lang 'to. Titigil din yan."

Recognizing the look of worry on her cousin's face. "O sige na Kuya Poch sabihin mo na, alam ko namang kagabi mo pa 'ko gustong sermunan."

"Ay hindi ah! Why would I stress myself? I will just relax, sit back while I watch you suffer the consequences of your impulsive actions. There, how's that for a statement?" Paolo straightened up and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Pero damay ka sa kalokohan kong 'to." Meng said as she tried to stand up testing if the wound will hurt.  Masakit konti, pero carry na 'to.

"Okay lang, girl. You know what I learned in the past 8 months of being your PA? You have this cycle of impulsive actions followed by mega-super-duper hingi-ng-sign decisions. So I can't wait to see how this one will pan out."


"Kahit lagot tayo kay tatay?"

"Hello!!! Bago pa ako balatan ng buhay ng tatay mo, ikaw muna oy! Pero alam mo, insan, nakikita ko na ang headlines ng mga tabloids. Bandera: "Celebrity Chef/Host, binitin patiwarik ng Ama", tapos sa BFF nating Bulgar naman "Chef Elize, hindi na nakilala sa kaitiman!"

"Agad-agad? Grabe ka naman, hindi ba puwedeng morena muna? Oy, I did apply sunblock this morning! And for your information, morena is beautiful. It's the natural color of the Filipinos."

"Not if you will sign up with Snowcap, hindi nila ilalagay ang billboard mo sa Edsa nang ganyan ang kulay mo! At saka, aber, hanggang kailan tatagal yang sunblock mo dito sa kabundukan?"

"You know what, sunblock is the least of my worries. Ano yan?" nang makita niyang may inaabot si Poch sa kanya.

"Baon ko, Bingo cookies, kumain ka na lang. Gutom lang yan. O kaya itong balimbing na prutas. Ang bait ko diba? Ibaon daw, eh di binaon."

"Ayoko niyang balimbing, pangalan pa lang, basher na. TUBIG, kuya Poch, I need WATER!!!"

"Inubos mo kasi agad! Kaya nga let's hurry, sigurado sila merong tubig. Kasi naman dami mong nalalaman na pahinga. Haay, alam mo buti na lang at itong nasamahan natin eh matitino. Pero ha, if I know and I know, dahil kay Tisoy kaya ka sumakay sa pick-up truck kahapon no?"


"Oy ka rin, of course not! The minute I heard Manang said over the phone that reporters were swarming outside the farm, feeling ko parang may nag-snap sa kin. I know I just need to get away."

"Hindi mo sinagot ang tanong ko. In denial ka girl!"

Parang wala siyang narinig as they started walking again. "Malayo pa ba tayo? Napaka-gentlemen naman kasi nitong mga taong 'to. Di marunong maghintay. Pano kung na-ambush na tayo dito?"

"Na-ambush agad? Huwag ka nga! Aminin mo, sinasadya mo yung pahinga! Akala mo di ko napansin ha? Mula kaninang breakfast nag-iiwasan na kayo ni Tisoy ng very very slight. Kaya pinagdudurog mo yung noodles na kinakain mo - naiinis ka sa kanya no... aminin mo!"

She did not respond.

"At kaya rin tayo hinto nang hinto, alin sa dalawa, ayaw mo siya makita o umaasa kang babalikan niya tayo? Teka lang, kayo ba yung sinasabi ni Kuya Jose na nag-uusap kagabi? Spill the beans, insan. You know you can trust me."

"Uy pagod lang talaga ko, ha. Saka alin, yung anemic na hito na 'yon? Siya pa ba popreblemahin ko? Alam mo kuya Poch, ang lakas din ng imagination mo!"

"Anemic na hito pala ha? Tingnan natin mamaya kung sino ang huling hahalakhak....... Regine whoooow" Paolo exclaimed followed by his evil laugh that has become his trademark.


Someone is going to get salary deduction when we get back to civilization, I swear! By the moon and the stars from above. I swear.

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