♤ [2] An Everlasting Nightmare

ı 23 ı As Long as You're With Me

"Please by all means, don't stop on my account," I say, rolling my eyes. I know exactly what they're going to tell me, and I know exactly what they're talking about.

"James, you have to tell her," Lexi says, being the first one to speak what's on everyone else's minds.

"I told you, I'm not telling her," I argue, walking over to the fridge to grab a bag of blood, only to realize I don't need it anymore. I'm no longer living.

I sigh and walk back into the living room, taking a seat in the chair across from Lexi who sits on the couch. Stefan sits beside her while Joel stands by the fireplace, still not coming to terms with my death. His state at the moment it the exact reason I don't want to tell Blair the truth. I don't want our last moments spent in sadness and pain.

"But James, that's not fair to her. You owe it to her to tell her the truth. She'll never forgive you," Lexi says calmly, trying to persuade me but my mind is settled.

"Maybe I do owe the truth to her, and maybe she won't forgive me, but that doesn't matter because I'm doing this for her," I say angrily.

"So you're just going to rely on Bonnie to bring you back? Come one man, that's unrealistic, I'm sorry. You of all people should know how much power those spells take. Are you really willing to put Bonnie at risk?" Stefan asks.

"I didn't ask her, she offered," I explain. "But deep down I know when it comes down to it, if she can only bring back one person it won't be me. It'll be Jeremy."

"Which is all the more reason you should tell her! There are some secrets you can get away with, and some you can't. This James, is a big secret. How do you think she's going to feel tomorrow waking up and realizing you're gone, huh? Bonnie's putting the vail back up tonight James, meaning you and I are gone for good," Lexi says a little too loudly. Thankfully Blair is still in the shower.

"That's real nice, Lex," Joel mutters, still staring at the fireplace.

"I'm sorry, Joel, but it's the truth!" Lexi argues.

"Listen, I know Blair more than any of you guys, even you Stefan. I've been with her almost everyday for the past year getting to know her all over again, and as of right now she's the happiest she's ever been. I'm not going to ruin that for her, because god knows she deserves to be happy. I will be the only one to break it to her, got it? No one else will say anything," I say sternly. "I died okay? I've accepted that, and now this is my last request."

"How can you accept that so early?" Joel questions, tears sliding down his cheek. "How can you be okay with all of this?" he says, beginning to yell.

I scoff. "You think I'm okay with this? I'm not Joel! But I've learned to accept it because there's nothing else for me to do. That's just the way it is," I say, trying to calm myself down. Just by standing here I can see how much this is really hurting him.

"B-but that's not fair James! I just got you back! I just got my big brother back!" he cries, tears flowing from his eyes. Joel never cries. When I picture Joel I can always see him with that big goofy smile and hear his laugh. It's contagious. The Joel that stands before me now is one I don't recognize.

I take five long strides until I reach the fireplace, taking my little brother in my arms for what might be the last time. "It's okay Joel, I'm okay. Everything will be okay," I assure him, although deep down I know I can't be more wrong.

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BLAIR POV

By the afternoon we've all gathered at the school field, all of us taking our places on the bleachers as the graduates line up for their ceremony. The Branson siblings all sit beside me, with Damon on my right as we watch the ceremony get started.