You wish you knew me now (editing)

Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Jerking in my sleep i could hear the cry of my little girl sending me into a frenzy. Awaking from a deep sleep was never a happy time for me, but a mother would sacrifice her sleep for her little baby.

As I tried to get up a heavy hand lay on my stomach. Turning towards the culprit I heaved the arm off. To my surprise James had slept through the torturing cry of a little baby. He is one heavy sleeper I laughed watching him sleep peacefully.

I leaned over her cot, gently placing my hands under her back; I lifted her up tenderly cradling in her arms. Her cries got even louder, I knew she was definitely hungry.

I turned towards James blushing as
i removed his arms from my toros. i carried Alina to the kitchen making a bottle of milk.

Being two she didn't wake up as much as she did when she was smaller. Once her bottle was made I ran back upstairs.

I tiredly sat back into the bed as Alina drank her bottle. I yawned and my eyes turned towards James who slept peacefully.

But heart plummeted when I thought of Adam. I remembered the moment we were alone. He was always sweet and charming, that was the real Adam I got to know. I wondered why he didn't want people to see the real him. Looking back now I could only frown at the distant memories. Every time I remembered him it seemed to be always about by the horror of the rape. I shook away the thoughts and held back my tears. What he did to me is unforgivable. I wanted to forgive him but my heart couldn't forgive what he had done. I was truly broken.

I stroked her hair, her curly hair had grown allot since she was born. Her skin had gotten tanner, achieving a natural glow. She looked so unreal but yet so real. I thought about my life if I hadn't been exiled. Would I be able to look at the mate that had hurt me? Could I look at the people who I called family? Most of all, could I allow Adam to be her father?

I know I'm being selfish, The risk was too deadly to let him near her.

"You know you're beautiful" a husky voice spoke. I jumped up, my heart pounding from shock. Alina finally finished her eyes gently closing. She was finally fast asleep so I settled her back into the cot.

"Who is Alina's father?" he asked tenderly after I got comfortable. My gaze turned away from his..

I froze slightly as I felt his tender voice speak out to me. He realised my stiff body as he sign. He has never asked about Alina's father before. But now all of a sudden he asks about him.

"Why do you ask?" my voice wasn't clear. I wasn't going to cry over Adam.

Every time I remembered him and that Alina is his daughter, it always sends me into a pool of tears. But not anymore. I'm fed up of crying over people that caused me grief. The people that caused me much distress and pain. The people that I thought would love me and protect me, but they are the only ones who hurt me the most.

Everytime I stare into Alina's eyes, it always reminds me of his. The eyes that haunts me. The eyes that stared back at me while I was weak. The eyes, that looked at me with hatred and anger. My mate's eyes, the piercing green eyes.

"You never talk about him do you" James added

"Yes well he's my mate" I shrugged my shoulders, not wanting this conversation to carry on any longer.

"So why aren't you by his side? Raising your child together" he didn't get the hint and threw another question at me.

I doubt it Adam would ever let me by his side; he would have thought I'm a weak alpha female for his pack.