If Only You Knew.

Part 39 - Agreements, arguments and plans.

"Why are we even arguing? It's pathetic"

"Leave" I whispered, looking away from the curly-haired boy. Thing was, I didn't want him to listen to me, I didn't want him to leave, I didn't want him to leave me, not now, not ever. I didn't want to go back to a life when I was without him, and now I have him, I couldn't bare to lose him, I couldn't watch him slip through my fingers but yet I couldn't bring myself to tell him this.

"No" Jay pushed, his voice bold and strong. He stepped inside, wrapped his arms around me and closed the door. He kissed my head repeatedly as he held me, yet all I could think of was how right it felt to be stood in his arms.

"Come on babe" Jay whispered, he unwrapped himself from me and rested his hands on my shoulders. Turning me around, Jay encouraged me to walk down the hallway.

"You're terrible at lying" Jay commented, breaking the slightly awkward silence that he and I sat in. "I can see right through you" this earned him a small smile as I laid in his lap, staring up at him. In a non-creepy way of course.

The word sorry was caught up somewhere in my throat, we both knew I over reacted, the same way I do with most things yet I couldn't find it in me to cough it out, I needed to but the words wouldn't come out. Several times I opened my mouth to let the five letter word out of my mouth yet all I ended up doing was closing it again.

"You look like a fish" Jay smirked, his bright blue eyes gleaming, resulting in my stomach twisting as my gaze met his once again.

 "What can I say, fishes are my favourites" I smiled, puffing my cheeks out and opening and closing my mouth.

"Only you" he whispered in reply before we fell back into the same suffocating, smothering and stifling silence that we were in before.

We were together now, weren't we supposed to be happy? Wasn't I allowed to be happy?

Yet again guilt washed over me as the same word wrapped itself up in my throat, waiting for me to say it and I still couldn't bring myself to say it to him. Just one bloody word and I couldn't say it. All I had to was swallow, take a death breath and say...

"Sorry"

*Jay's POV*

"Sorry" we whispered at the same time, and I'm pretty sure that I looked like Megan did; like a deer caught in the headlights. We looked curiously at each other, Megan's eyebrows were furrowed as she looked at me, her head tilted to the side.

"What are you sorry for?" Megan mumbled, not taking her eyes off me, it was actually starting to feel a little intimidating and almost suffocating.

"For the way it sounded, I never meant to upset you" I sighed, reaching out my arm and taking her hand in mine. The stare Megan held on me no longer felt pressured and smothering, it now captivated me and this is when I realized I was infatuated with Megan, no. I was, in fact, in love with her. With every inch of her, from head to toe, I, Jay McGuiness, was in love with Megan. From the way she stands with her hand on her hip to the smiles she charms the world with, from the way she dresses in big jumpers and baggy bottoms to the times she wears tight and slightly revealing clothes. I was in love with every inch of her.

"Jay?" Megan smiled, waving her hand in front of my face. I smiled back at her and grabbed her hand, intertwining her fingers with my own.

"How about, we buy a flat somewhere near here?" I asked, as spotenous as it sounded, the idea began to grow on me.

"What?"

"Only if you want to but seeing as you practically live with us, it seems no different"

"Are you sure?" Megan asked, her head, once again, tilted sideways. I nodded and a broad smile graced her face as she nodded her head slowly.

"Yes, of course I'll move in with you!"

"Great!" I grinned, getting up and picking Megan up.

"What are you doing?"

"You're going to get ready" I answered as I let her down in her room.

"Why?"

"Because we're going out for lunch" Megan grinned as she pushed me out of the room and closed the door behind me. Smiling to myself, I sat down on the sofa, imagining the flat, the flat Megan and I will share. That thought in itself, made my smile widen, the thought of Megan and I, living alone, in our own flat, together.

*Nathan's POV*

"Oi, Nath"

"What?"

"We get the flat to ourselves soon" Jodie smirked, still whispering.

"What? Why?"

"Jay and Megan are going to move into a separate flat"

"How do you know?"

"Megan just text me"

"I swear they were arguing like ten minutes ago"

"Yeah, I give up with them too, they're both hormonal" Jodie muttered to herself. I raised my eyebrows at my girlfriend before chuckling. Jodie simply shrugged her shoulders before getting up. I turned my attention to the match that was on TV, yet my mind was somewhere else. Especially as Manchester United weren't playing.

"Haven't you got a performance tomorrow?"

"Yeah, you coming?"

"I suppose I have too, smelly"

"How rude. I may just not allow you to come" I joked, Jodie, once again, shrugged and smiled. It was nearing our year and a half anniversary and I was sure Jodie was convinced I had forgotten. Well, maybe I had, but luckily her phone reminded me the other day when a notification had showed up. It had literally been my saviour.

I remembered the plans that I had for tomorrow, well more like the plans I had, although I had mixed feelings on it. Tomorrow, tomorrow would be the day we went public. We'd come very close to telling people about us but hadn't, the feelings of worry and anxiousness overcome us and we backed out. But tomorrow, I wouldn't let either of us run out of it. After I had broadcast it to the world via Twitter, we would be on our way to the performance we're booked in for tomorrow. And during this, when Heart Vacancy came on, I would pull Jodie from the side of the stage and show the world my princess.

Hopefully, just hopefully, this would all go to plan.

**

Thank you so much for being so patient as I literally haven't updated in what two months. I'm incredibly sorry, I'm surprised someone hasn't shot me to be quite honest.

On a brighter note;

Chapter 39 finally up, and unfortunately I have no dedication for this chapter :(! But I will be back with the FINAL chapter of If Only You Knew soon, I pinky, pinky, pinky promise!

OH AND WHO ELSE HAS GOT WORD OF MOUTH OMG ASDFGHJKLASHFNSHX I LOVE IT!!!

Anyways, please comment and vote as always please! I love you all so much!

-Meg!

xox