Computerized

Chapter Nine: Unusual Morning

You'd think after a tragedy you'd feel broken. Angry. Devastated. Heartbroken. Maybe even, worthless or hopeless. I felt none of these, in fact I felt nothing. I was numb to emotion. Some people would go to there parents for support. They would pour out their heart and tell them everything,

In my case though, all I wanted was revenge. The only feeling I could feel was hatred. Hatred overpowered any other thought that might have entered my mind. Hatred clouded my senses, and all I could think about was my back-stabbing excuse for a father.

Matthew wouldn't answer my calls. I stared down at the illuminated screen of my phone. He had missed, or more likely ignored 36 of my calls and 15 texts. I quickly realized it wasn't anger only for Jack but also Matthew. I know he was threatened but he gave up. He walked away without a second thought, just because of some stupid threat our psychopathic father had given him. I was disappointed in myself for being mad at Matthew, yet the feeling still remained.

I hadn't moved since last night. I was still laying beside the door with Hannah asleep, leaning against my shoulder. I had heard her get up several times last night, crying. I didn't want to wake her so I gently got up, laying Hannah down on the carpeted floors.

I needed a shower to clear my thoughts. After gathering my clothes I slipped into the shower. I wished I could wash away the memories of last night but that was impossible. An image of my father screaming at Matthew flashed in my mind. I stumbled back into the shower wall, causing all the bottles and soaps to crash to the floor. Tears once again streamed down my face, mixing in with the water.

I quickly wiped them away and forced myself to leave the bathroom after getting ready for work. When I entered my bedroom I noticed Hannah had moved from the floor to my bed. I was just about to check my phone when there was a soft knock on my door.

"Um, come in," I said hesitantly.

The door cracked open slowly revealing my fathers tall wide form. He was wearing a bright smile on his face. It seemed so strange and so out of place. I shivered and stepped back. I wasn't sure if it was from hatred or fear, maybe both.

"Good morning girls," he chirped. His cheery loud tone woke Hannah. It took her a minute to gather her surroundings and remember the events of last night but when she did, her eyes narrowed at Jack.

"Woah!" Jack held up his hands in surrender. "I see you're not a morning person. Anyways, I made pancakes. Come down in ten minutes. Your mother and I want to talk to you about something." He gave us one last smile before turning and leaving the room.

I turned to Hannah, "Let's just feel Jack out before we say anything. He seems unstable and I don't want to know what he'd do if he got mad."

She nodded. "Yeah. I know."

We clomped down the stairs and into the kitchen where my mother sat at the dining table sipping on a steaming cup of coffee. My father, Jack, was placing a mountain of pancakes on the table. It reminded me of Saturday mornings years ago.

Hannah and I gave each other wary looks but sat at the table. We served ourselves, piling the food onto the plates. We didn't get big meals very often. Jack practically skipped over to the table and plopped down onto the cushioned dining chair, a delighted smile upon his face. My mother was also smiling a wide sweet smile.

"What's got you in such a good mood this morning honey?" She asked Jack. I still was confused on mothers place in this situation. Was she a part of Matthew leaving too?

Jack grinned wider, if that was possible. "Oh, I'm just happy we're here as a family with our beautiful daughters." Hatred bubbled inside of me. I couldn't believe this man had raised me and was Hannah and I's father.