DARE

CHAPTER - 33 'TIME FOR ACTION'

Vyan

A few months ago I didn't know where my own life of heading now I am supposed to help others fix their life by telling them my story. What I know is If you won't tell your story somebody else will so why would I let someone else speak for me.I wanted to share my story and I wanted, to tell the truth, but everyone thought otherwise they wanted me to pretend like nothing happened and taking my acting skills in consideration I knew acting it up all was not an option.

At the time I was evaluating my options a new York-based publication contacted my team for writing a book on me and when I got to know about it I thought who the hell read a book.I don't know a single man who likes that kind of shit apart from Alvin the perfect boyfriend types.After loads of convincing and dozens of meeting with publication I thought otherwise I thought It will be nice to be on a book cover from once because being on cover page of magazines was getting old and on a serious note I thought I can give my fans a lot deeper look in my life with a book on me than an hour-long interview of mine so somehow I ended up signing a contract with J.J.R publications .

It has been a month since I agreed to share my story and I am still not sure about how much I want to I put forward but I totally convinced by now that It's the way to go.

The book will be named'My life in LA' I am not a writer but the according to the publishing I just have to tell them the truth and details of everything and they will document every word by heart in that book. I don't know why I still surprised that I came out that hell.I am not sure where I am heading don't know it's the right or the wrong direction for me if there is any right direction at all for me to choose.

Before I got in drugs I thought people always glorify the struggles of living in the limelight. It was not like I never had any bad experiences to share with the world but I thought what's the point in complaining if you are ready to pay the price. I knew nothing comes free in life and there is a price tag attached to everything and I paid the price.

I thought fame and limelight take away your freedom and personal space but sooner enough I discovered it takes a little too much of everything you have and personal freedom is just a part of the bigger picture. There is so much more to lose in the business. Limelight takes troll in your mind and heart.It makes you selfish and self-centred In every sense. You can't have enough, you want more and more and there is no limit to your want and one day you end up losing your mind.

After my brief introduction with darker sides of life here I have decided I will no more live in LA and will move to new York as soon I wind up all my office work here.I can't still come to terms with the fact that I am leaving LA because I have a recollection of the time when I first came to LA and instantly got addicted to its charms.

LA and its people always left me wondering and it was indeed a wonderland for me.Every person I ever came close to me in the business is from LA.I was just 17 when I moved to LA at first I was a little worried to see the extravagant life people live here in LA because of my humble beginnings.

For A while, I was unsure about my decision of moving to LA. But I somehow managed to come to terms with its lifestyle and it's fakeness I never really accepted it heart but LA is a city of wonder. You can only wonder. Parties in LA are out of world there is no second thought about it and the more you sink deeper into the life In LA the more trapped you feel.

I guess the 17 years old I never thought what I was heading into for but now when many more years have passed and I have grown from dreamy teenager to a wise young man I know I not willing to give what it takes to be part this sparkling world here.

Past few years of life were spent travelling from one place to another doing concerts and the process of moving never pained me but even my time in LA was short and brief but deep down I still consider it as my home.

In the short time of five years, I made quite a bunch of friends in LA and I learnt a lot of worthy lessons here in LA like there if a difference between a friend and a real friend and many other things like there is two kind of money one if pain simple money and other is old money.

When I think of friend and that too real friend I was fortunate to have some incredible people in my life as my friends and most of them are not part of showbiz business either they are self-made successful businessmen or men who didn't have to put much effort and where born silver spoon in their mouth they are one who is said to make out of old money not that I knew there is any difference between old money and money itself .They and their stories always inspired me to work hard because even if they didn't work harder someone in their ancestors did manage to beat the odds and knowing all the stuff always made me push myself to the limits.But it was not long before I was infected by glamour world and things got out controlled from there on

It's been a while since I last came to New York a great city indeed and even with all the lights and fast life people live here this city somehow soothes me and I love when it rains here not only it's always a big turn on to see girls running around in rain boots it more about the stop and silence that rain brings with it. Everything becomes part of the chime the rain play. I think I can never get over Rain and can never fail to shun my life. But I have decided no matter what this time not even thunderstorm can stop me. I have already wasted so much of myself, I can't afford to lose any other part of me.

               ' VYAN, WAS  YOUR BREAKUP WITH HANNA WAS THE REASON YOU STARTED DOING DRUGS OR IS WAS BECAUSE OF YOUR MOTHER ILLNESS ?' -  the voice echoed in the conference room,I guess, this it and I have put these speculations to an end,....... Now, It's time for action.