I will be writing in third person from now on.
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The newspaper lay threateningly on the table beside the court letter. The curtains whooshed as the wind blew in from the open window. The pot whistled loudly on the stove signalling that it ready. The boy sat cowering in the corner while his seventh panic attack washed over him that hour.
He had lost the ability to measure time, he had no idea how much time had past. He had lost the ability to breathe. His chest felt constricted like an elastic band was coiled tightly around his chest preventing the natural flow of oxygen being delivered to his lungs.
Flashes of the front page of the newspaper floated into the boys head and he folded in on himself further trying to disappear. Sobs racked through his chest, shaking his whole core whilst his whole body shook like a seizure.
Although his whole body was moving and shaking he physically could not move, frozen and rooted to the spot whilst panic attack after panic attack convulsed his whole being.
They released the man who ruined me. He's free. He's free.
Harry wasn't supposed to deal with this for two years and by then he planned to be over it, but it had only been a few month. A few months and now that man was walking around.
Harry didn't know how long he sat crumpled in the corner or how many panic attacks he had endured but he shakily stumbled to the table and stared at the letter again, too afraid to touch it out of fear that it would shock him. Harry had the letter memorised.
Mr Styles,
I am writing to inform you that Mr. Gavin Minks will be released from Cheshire Capitol Correctional Facility tomorrow at 0900 hours.
We are aware this is premature but we have a court order to allow this release. The conditions of his release are seen as below. If you have any queries please contact us, information below.
Thank you for you co-operation.
Mr Minks has agreed to the following terms as conditions for his release:
1. Mr Minks will make no physical contact with you (Mr Styles)
2. Mr Minks will not be within 100m of you (Mr Styles)
3. Mr Minks will make no virtual contact with you (Mr Styles) through social media, mobile phone, letters etc
4. Mr Minks will have a curfew for 8 months and will be permitted 8 hours outside of his home each day. Mr Minks will not be allowed out of his home between the hours 2200-0700 hours.
5. Mr Minks will meet with his parol officer weekly.
6. If Mr Minks fails to abide by these conditions he will be escorted back to Cheshire Capitol Correctional Facility.
Harry felt sick. Harry retched. Nothing came up but bile. Harry had 2 more panic attacks before collapsing on the kitchen floor in exhaustion. Harry dreamt.
He was happy with Louis. Louis was soft, Louis was patient, Louis loved him. But then Gavin was there and he reminded Louis that Harry wasn't worth love, that Harry was worthless. Louis hated him. Harry was crying, trying to get Louis to remember Harry was good but it was getting harder, Harry couldn't remember if he was good anymore. If everyone hated him, how could they all be wrong? Harry gave up. Harry let them beat him, screaming for Louis.
"Harry, Harry please, please. You're ok," a gruff voice soothed and Harry stopped his thrashing as he began to regain consciousness. His breathing was ragged, his whole body hot and tired. He was exhausted mentally and physically and sore.
Harry became aware someone was stroking his hair and his heart speed up, too scare to open his eyes he began to sit up and the person helped. Harry's hands tensed.
Harry struggled to get his heart and breathing under control, not with this unknown intruder in his presence.
"Open your eyes, love." Louis.
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