After it all

17

I look down to see a sleeping head on my shoulder, blonde hair over her face. I love this girl so much, I just wish I would've took a different route to be with her. I would do anything to keep her, I swear.

"I love you", I say into her hair knowing she can't hear me, I know she'll probably never feel the same. Somewhere deep down I actually think there could be a chance though.

She means the world to me.

*

"Blythe", I say tapping her shoulder. "We are here", with that her head pops up and looks through the small plane window.

I laugh before we make eye contact again.

"It's beautiful", her smile bright.

"I know", I say leaning in to kiss her, instead she turns back to the window.

"Ready?", she says standing from her seat and pushing her small hands into her sweatshirt pocket.

"Yeah I'm ready", a carryon bag in my hand, making my way out as quickly as I can.

*
Blythe

I wanted to kiss him, I really did but i can't do that anymore. I can't fall into his trap, I can't love him.

Once i catch up to him his jaw is clenched, pulling our luggage behind him.

"Mason", I squeak trying to get him to calm down.

"Mason", his wrist in my hand. "I know you're mad, but you will not be an asshole the first day we get here. I didn't kiss you, get the fuck over it. We are in New York for crying out loud, please don't do this", he looks down to me with red eyes, and a wet face.

"I'm not going anywhere, I can't", my arms wrapping around him.

He doesn't speak, he just kisses the top of my head then following behind me as I slide into a cab that a called within a gas seconds.

I reach up to dry his face with my hand, giving his hand a squeeze assuring him that everything will be fine.

"Can we get food after we get dressed?", I say quickly.

"Yeah love", he laughs pointing at the hotel we are staying in. Only 5 minutes from Times Square.

"Can't wait to see this place at night", I laugh climbing from the cab and waving him off after Mason gives the cash.

"You know any good food places?", I ask pressing the 3rd floor button on the elevator.

"Yeah there's a great vegetarian restaurant near by, when I went there I actually thought it was meat, looks like it and tastes like it but it's not", a deep chuckle filling the small box.

I pick out a pair of jeans, jumper, scarf and boots from my luggage throwing the outfit on the bed before heading to the humid bathroom. Mason in the shower of course.

I let my hair down leaving it in its naturally curly state, shaking it around it make it look at least half decent. Slapping on some mascara and red lipstick to top it all off.

"You look great", Mason walking towards me with a towel around his waist, my eyes stuck to it.

I smile at him coldly before leaving the one of two rooms in our suite.

"You alright love?", Mason says following me to the small living room.

"I was wondering if I could sleep in the other room tonight", I shrug running my hand through my hair.

"The other room", he says throwing on a jumper as well and slipping on a pair of black jeans. "Why?", his face twisted.

"I just need some space Mason", I squeak.

"Space you need fucking space? Blythe I've been trying to be the perfect boyfriend for you. But now you can't even sleep in the same bed as me, am I a monster now", his face inches from mine. "Because if this is a monster then you haven't seen half of it yet", his jaw clenched along with his hands.

"Mason, you've been a monster the second you put your hands on me, you've been a monster since you threatened to kill me, when you hit me over and over, when you threatened to kill my family, you are nothing but a monster. You know what, I was forgiving you. I thought you just made a mistake with all of this, but no I can't forgive someone who kidnapped me and beat me. I should've let you die, you deserve to die", my feet carrying me to the opposite room leaving Mason's face uncollected.

Tears fall, but they seem not to mean anything anymore. I've been crying so much that it's all most normal, and there will be plenty more times since this is what I have to live through now. We were supposed to watch movies tonight and watch the ball drop, I insisted on watching it on television since it was so cold out. But now i can't even lay eyes on him.

I know I said hurtful shit, but almost all of it was true. He hurt me so badly, he took away all of the dignity that i have and self respect. I needed this, I needed to stay away before it becomes harder to separate from him.

I'm brought out of my thoughts by feet walking towards my door, no doubt that it's Mason. His shadow sitting I front of it, a hard breath being let out.

"I'm sorry", he sniffs, still on the other side of the door. "I know I'm fucked up, I thought having you would make me love again. But Im just ruining you, I swear I would let you go if I could. I would absolutely die without you Blythe, though it seems you would like that. I'm a monster, the monster that hit you, threatened you, fuck. But now all I want to be is the monster that loves you, marries you, just the monster who wants you. I know sorry won't fix anything, nothing can fix this but I pray everyday that you'll love me being the monster I am. It's okay if you won't love me, quite understandable but please don't be distant from me, I need you Blythe".

I can't help that I'm drenched in tears at this point, muffling my cries as much as I can though I'm sure it's still audible.

Wiping my face I stand from the floor reach at the door and turning the lock, making sure he can't get it easily hopefully not at all.

Giving him what he wants won't solve this, nothing will.

Sliding into the cold bed, I shut my eyes trying to stop the tears that just won't stop. I do believe that he means every word he says, but for me to ever even except him he has to show me that.

*
Heyyyy, I hope you guys liked this chapter!! It's a little longer than usual so that's good I'll be updating again soon, please vote! Love you all