Unfaithfully His [H.S. & Z.M.]

TwenTy FiVe

Have you ever heard the tiny voice in your head? The voice that comes from your heart, the voice that constantly debates with your brain. The voice called subconscious.

My mind tries to concentrate on the cool metal resting on my wrist, but that voice bugs me, shooting numerous reasons of why I should not do what I am doing. I try to shut the nagging subconscious but it won't budge.

I hiss in pain when the blade accidently cuts through a small portion of my flesh, accidently because I am startled by the doorbell. I quickly dispose off the bloody metal and hold my wrist under the running water. The person on the other side keeps on ringing the bell and I dash out to receive the impatient guest.

"I brought some pasta for us!" says Harry as soon as I open the door. I smile at him like a child who is caught while stealing a candy.

Sensing my uncomfortable posture, he cocks his eyebrows, a gesture to ask me if there is anything he needs to know. I nod at him shyly and open the door wide for him to enter.

"Make yourself at home, I'll set the table for us." I say and escape from his doubtful gaze. From whatever I know about Harry, he is quick to find out if something isn't right.

I pick up two porcelain plates along with forks and a calm, composed posture and return to Harry who is sitting at the dining table engrossed in thoughts.

"Harry I-"

"Talk to me Bella. The unusual silence told me that they left." He says referring to my family.

I push the food on my plate, trying to come up with some excuse to change the topic. He has already seen my wrecked face, full of tear stains and my bloodshot, swollen eyes so I think there's no way I can avoid this.

"They did Harry, I'm all alone now. I have no one to come home to. No one to have a banter with. No one to talk..." I hang my head low, chewing on my bottom lip.

"Look, I appreciate the bold decision you've taken but, don't get me wrong, I don't understand why are you taking it so hard?" He raises his voice a bit but clears his throat immediately.

"I mean you can literally board the next plane if you feel uneasy and be with them, so why are you making a big fuss about it?" Harry waits for me to speak up but I've lost my voice over his harsh words laced with an understanding tone.

"Bella, you are acting too immature about the situation. I don't expect you to start partying and celebrating your freedom but you are overreacting right now."

"I just lost my family Harry! You wouldn't understand how it feels to lose the only thing you have in this world for the second time. I hadn't even spent 24 hours with them and they're gone!"

"You talk like they are gone forever! You have just refused to comply with something you don't approve of. Why are you so scared to stand all by yourself?" His tone is calm but I see a storm taking birth from within him.

"Because I've never done this before Harry. I have always lived with my mum, never went against her decision and most importantly, never made Melody cry. She didn't want to leave, she felt wrong about it just like me." There I go again, tears well up in my eyes and some of them even escape to fall freely on my cheeks.

"There is a first time for everything Bella and you are lucky that you have a house and a shop to earn a living. You wouldn't have to struggle as you are pretty much strong, financially." He says looking straight in my eyes.

"Talking of Melody, she is a small child Bella! She doesn't know her own good yet. It's natural for her to cry about moving abroad, children do throw a fit over such things. You are an adult, she's not."