Josh POV
Colleen is doing well. She is sleeping or sitting a lot of the time. "Ready to go home?" I ask her as she sits on the floor zipping up our suitcases in the tour bus. "Yes" she says. I reach down to help her stand up and I snuggle her standing there. I bury my face in her neck and just breathe. "Love you" I say. "Love you more Josh" she says as she kisses my neck. We smile at each other and head to the airport.
Once at the airport I grab some food for her and I as we wait at the gate. She can eat double what I can now, it amazes me. "What?" she asks stopping. I start laughing. "I love how much you eat. You eat more than me" I say. She stops and puts down her food staring at me. "Colleen its a good thing baby" I say worried. "No I ate too much" she says and jumps onto her phone. I slide beside her. "Colleen I am serious. I enjoy watching you pregnant. I never think you eat enough and now you do. It makes me happy. You are gorgeous babe" I say rubbing her back. She nods. I feel terrible. I look at her and she has tears in her eyes. "Please babe. I didn't mean it that way. Eat more" I say hugging her as she starts to cry. "Just my hormones" she whispers. I pass her back her food and she picks at it. Why did I open my big mouth?!?!
A few weeks later Colleen goes to the doctor and all seems well. She isn't having any bleeding so things look fine as she passed the end of the first trimester and we are finding out the sex of the baby. The doctor weighs Colleen and isn't happy." You lost weight" the doctor says. I look at Colleen. "I want some weight added Colleen. Entirely too thin" the doctor says. Colleen nods and avoids my eye contact. I lay Colleen down as she grabs my hand. The ultrasound turns on and the doctor is looking at the screen. "Ready?" the doctor asks. I squeeze her hand as she looks at me. "Its a girl" she says. "Baby its Lily" I say as I lean down to kiss her lips. She is crying as the doctor passes her a kleenex. "So I still want you to take it easy Colleen. Things can change fast" she says. Colleen slides off the table and we walk out together hand in hand. We jump in the car. "Lunch?" I ask smiling. She nods and looks out the window quietly. I park the car and look at her. "Josh I am sorry" she says quietly. "For what babe?" I ask grabbing her hand. "Loosing weight" she whispers. "I keep thinking if I gain weight you won't be attracted to me anymore. I know I am pregnant but something in my mind is messing with my thoughts. I can't loose you" she says crying. "Colleen listen to me" I say grabbing her face. "You are stuck with me forever babe. You are my fate. Nothing will change that" I say and I kiss her as she nods. I hug her tight and smooch her again. "Come on sweetheart. We need to celebrate Lily" I say.
