"Wow, Taylor....you look like.... an actual guy!" my best friend Vanessa screamed in my face trying to hold back her laugh. "I know it's weird." I said moving my uncomfortable wig around. "Are you sure you want to do this? I mean you can always just try to beg your old producer again..." "No Vanessa, he doesn't want to hire me again. I screwed up. Ever since Logan..." I stopped and took a breath. It was still hard to say his name out loud. "Anyway, you know that I went into a horrible time, Ness. I should have never done those things. I don't deserve to be forgiven! I was a million twelve year olds' idol and I got caught for drugs and worse. As much as I want my job back, it's not happening. I'll just have to do it this way." I sighed. Vannessa shrugged and came up to fix my hair and leather jacket. I glanced in the mirror once more. I really did look like a guy. Now the question was, could I pull it off in front of five others?
It all happened three weeks ago. Three weeks ago, after being in jail for a year, I was released. My name is Taylor Sparks, I was seventeen when my career peaked and people considered me the new pop sensation. I had my own cheesy Disney Channel tv show, a number one hit album, a perfect boyfriend, a loving family, and a million supportive fans. It's funny how easily I lost all of that. It was like reality hit me straight in the face. Being famous, you do one bad thing and it's plastered all over the news. I had to find that out the hard way. It all started when Logan, my perfect, loving, adorable, 20 year old boyfriend was killed. No not killed, murdered. Or well that's how I like think of it. I remember that night crystal clear, the bright light, Logan's screams, the hospital, and even my moms voice when she told me he didn't make it. From there I went ballistic. We tried therapy, I couldn't even speak two words without screaming and crying. My parents tried setting me up with another person, and that did not go so well. We even tried moving, which only made me angrier at the world. There was one night however, where I found something that did work. It was my birthday, which took place approximately 2 months after Logan's death.
*FLASHBACK*
I took one more sip of the drink as I felt the wooziness begin to kick in. Finally. Vanessa was hopelessly drunk, dancing with random people on the dance floor. It was my birthday, and I still was sad. There was sometimes I wondered if I could ever forget Logan, even for a day. Then I saw him. The man across from me at the bar was now sitting in front of me. "Hey cutie, listen I've heard about that accident and I know something that can help," he whispered in my ear with a devious smile. Normally I'd punch someone straight in the nose if they mentioned the accident to me, but this guy, the way he said it, had me totally intrigued. I shyly nodded as he reached his hand out. There lay two perfect little, white pills. I immediately shook my head and began to laugh. "I don't do pills, sweetie. I'm a seventeen year old Disney Channel star. I could have you sued for even asking me." I said with a smirk. "I know who you are, I just figured you might want to get out of that horrible slump you're in. Forget a little, ya know?" he whispered back with a smirk almost identical to mine. I felt his words fill my ears as I began, to actually consider his offer. I mean, it wouldn't hurt to try right? My drunken mind made it hard for me to focus on what I actually wanted to do, so without thinking I swiped the pills out of his hand and raised them to my mouth.
*END OF FLASHBACK*
A year in jail really changes you. I went from being the most loved teen in America, to one of the most hated. I understood I made some bad choices, but I never understood why it was such a hard thing to forgive me. I was now eighteen, and for once in my life I had felt strong again. Like, I was getting a second chance in life, even though I had been shot down by every one of my old producers. My Disney show had been cancelled a month after I got caught, and they made up some dumbass excuse that I wanted time away from the fame. If anything, now all I wanted was the fame back. I miss seeing everyone in the crowd scream my name, as I sang my heart out. I miss my co-stars, walking the red carpet, me getting to sign autographs, and I even missed all the lovely tweets.
After being released from jail, I promised myself that I'd never drink or take any illegal substances ever again. Many people did articles about me and my comeback, but no one ever actually let me "come back". The feeling of being shut down by all the ones who I used to laugh with everyday, was one of the things that hurt the most.
Vanessa and I walked down stairs to say bye to my mom. After I was arrested, my parents divorced and nothing has been the same since. I used to think my parents were more in love than anyone in the whole entire world, but now they can't even stand being in the same room together. I live with my mom in LA because my Dad moved to New York City. If I hadn't gone to jail, I'd have my own house and the perfect life. Vanessa was going to drive me to the airport, and then I would be off to London by myself. It took a lot of convincing for my mom to let me try out. I reassured her that there were probably thousands of boy bands, and boy singers trying out, that I wouldn't even have a chance. She told me what I was doing was immoral and I'd get caught eventually. I didn't believe her...
"Hey sweetie. You be safe okay? And don't sing like a girl. I love you!" my mom said as she kissed my cheek. I knew she didnt want me to get this, because she believed if people found out, it could cause so much trouble. And after Logan's death and my jail experience, trouble was the last thing I needed. "You ready Tay?" Vanessa yelled from the car. "Ya one sec!" I screamed. I quickly ran back upstairs and grabbed the picture on my nightstand of Logan and I. I sighed, took it out of the frame, and shoved it in my pocket. As long as he was with me, I'd feel safe.
When we were almost at the airport, I started to get nervous and Vanessa noticed. "Dude don't worry, you got this! Now let's practice. What's your name? Why are you here? Do you have what it takes?" she said in a British accent. I started to laugh but then out a serious face on. "My name is Tyler Jacobs and I'm 18 years old. I'm here because I wanna be One Direction's opening act and yes I have what it takes." I said in my manliest voice. "Good, very good." she said smiling and patted my back. Vanessa had been my best friend since I was little, she's been with me through it all. And since she wants to be a stylist when she's older, that's the reason I look so much incredibly like a real guy.
When we finally reached the airport I said my goodbyes. I took my small suitcase and walked into the airport. The flight was long and boring. I had one flight attendant hitting on me constantly, and I had to remind myself I was now a guy, I had to act the part. When I finally arrived in London, I went straight to my hotel and practiced. My audition was the next day, and if I wanted this, I had to sound perfect. It was just my luck they were looking for someone new. They specifically said they wanted someone with experience but no debut album or anything, just someone who would simply sing some of the old songs from the x-factor songs for the opening act of the US tour.Thats why I knew it was perfect for me. Tommorow I'd sing viva la vida in front of the five of them and there management. I had a good feeling
After a long night of practicing, the day had finally come. I woke up and hopped in the shower. After that I wrapped my breasts so they'd look flat. I put on a baggy sweater, with some navy blue boy pants, and and a beanie over my brunette wig. I looked in the mirror and flashed myself a sexy boy smirk. It was go time. I quickly grabbed my picture of Logan and I and headed for the studio. "Here goes nothing." I whispered to myself as I opened the big glass doors.
