the next step au's

in vein (jiley)

// this is based off a the weeknd song ((what a surPRISE IKR)) but anyway, the song is called in vein and idk i just liked it so yaaaas, also if youre not comfortable with the explicit content (drugs, language and so on) dont read this

The flickering light radiated from the tv, being the only source of light in the room that was darkened with some heavy curtains.

James had no idea what program was on, but he did not really care about it, if he should be honest. Some Drake song was blasting through the boxers, rather loud, but no one would care about it either, as he was in some motel.

The ones you find on the side of highways, where people don't really care if you'd have a dead body in your cars trunk, as long as you would pay for your room, you could do whatever you'd like, no one would question you.

This was really convenient to James.

Not that he had a dead body in his trunk, not that he knew of, but no one questioned him upon what a rather successful drummer of a band was doing with a bag of drugs and about five bottles of bourbon, at three am, checking into a low class motel.

He didn't even expect the old man at the reception to know who he was.

His vision was rather blurry, which either came from the three lines he did, or the two bottles he has emptied already, but he did not even care.

One would think that his life was perfect.

Well, it was.

Past tense.

Up until a few weeks ago.

When Riley, who was touring with the band, told James that she wanted a break.

She did not want to break up, she just wanted a little space between them.

Mainly, because she felt like she was holding James back with the band, to which he did say that it was bullshit, but she just kept repeating that she wanted him to focus on his carreer, and that she would be waiting for him, once he would be less busy with everything.

Although she made it sound like it was all the truth, but his chest felt like she ripped it into tiny pieces with only her mere words.

So, now she was gone.

She went back home.

And the two of them didn't speak, texting included, since she was gone.

Which was exactly sixty-seven days ago.

James couldn't help but blame himself for driving her away. He knew he was a little intense sometimes, no matter what it was about, he would get one hundred and ten per cent into it.

But it wasn't really his fault, he couldn't control his feelings. No matter how hard he tried.

Now he was sitting on the floor in front of the tv, leaning his back against the side of the bed.

He took another sip of the bottle, making a slight sick feeling appear in the pit of his stomach, which either came from the alcohol or the heartbreak he was trying, not in the best way possible, to get over.

Though, he knew there was no way he was going to get over her.

He was too whipped.

Even after not talking to Riley for more than two months, did not manage to make his feelings for her go away. Whenever someone would only mention her name, or someting she likes, he would start getting this warm feeling inside of him, consuming him whole.

He took another sip, making the feeling even worse, as it radiated through his head now as well.

James got slowly up, preparing another line for himself, which he did a second later.