the next step au's

magnum (jiley)

riley heard a knock on the door. she knew immediately who it was.

the now bottle blonde — she changed her hair color about five times a month — was just about to do some yoga, hence why she was wearing sportswear, when she walked to the front door of her apartment and opened it. she didn't even have to look through the peephole of her door.

"hey .." she greeted the tall dark haired way too familiar face, before she stepped aside to let him inside her apartment. riley could smell the alcohol on his breath. just like always when he showed up.

"what's up." she heard james voice, a little cracked, as he sat down on the couch, in front of the yoga matt she had just set up. she knew it wasn't a real question, more like a conversation filler. because james didn't like to talk, especially to her, and especially about his problems.

he knew she would judge him. tell him the complete and blatant truth about him and his problems, and that was the last thing he wanted when he came here.

riley knew what he wanted. she knew that they only used each other for comfort, and touch. she knew that they would never work out as a real couple, because of the mere fact that they were so different from one another. opposites don't always attract.

but in riley and james' case, they only attracted in a bad way.

the first time they met, years ago, at a mutual friends party, they did immediately hit it off. riley was intrigued. james couldn't help himself but long for her attention, even though he got it without any problem.

they tried. they really did. but whatever they tried, it didn't work out. sometimes feelings just aren't enough.

but james regularly shows up to her apartment, sometimes even in the middle of the night, and they both know what's going on. neither one of them really talk much when they're together, they mostly just sit, make out or sleep with each other.

riley doesn't condone in his drinking. james thinks she's a bore and way too put together for her age.

they used to argue about that. a lot. especially in the beginning when they both tried to make it work. now they just accept each other the way they are. they aren't together anyway. so why would they try to change the other?!

riley does care though. it hurts her to see him destroy himself like this. she doesn't even know why he drinks so much. she would want to know though. but she never dares to ask. because of the fear he would never show up again.

james cares too. he's too scared to admit it though. why would someone so completely perfect like her want him? she doesn't. and he knows that. but he shows up and she lets him. and that's enough for him.

he doesn't drink because of her.

he drinks because of his father. because of his depression. and because of the death of his mother. she died years ago and he still hasn't found himself accepting it. he thinks he never will.

he leans back into her couch, and she sits down next to him.

the next thing they know, they are both laying in riley's bed and wonder why they can't make it work.

why can other people do it?!

sometimes love isn't enough.

james loves her. he knows that. why else would he always find his way back to her, when he could be anywhere else.

riley loves him. she knows that. why else would she always let him come back, when she could have anyone else she wants.

they both lay in her huge bed, facing the ceiling.

riley's hand finds james'.

she intertwines her fingers with his. and just for this moment it doesn't feel like complete agony. it feels a little right.

but they both know once he leaves, it will be gone. and they will both go on with their lives until james shows up at riley's again.

just to make it feel a little right again.