Luke's pov -
Do it. Do it.
My mind was spinning everywhere, my vision was blurry, my hands were shaking; the shouting razor that was screaming at me, to pick it up and cut my wrist around the wrist - all the way around - was so, so so temping. And my demons kept on shouting in my head, them being the tears in my eyes, my almost violent shaking body.
Becoming pregnant was a mistake, Luke! And you know it, fool! You deserve it! Go! Go! Fucking cut till you die, cunt!
In one split second, all the control I felt I had over my own body; was gone in one split second. Suddenly, without I knew it, there the razor was in my right hand, placed against my wrist, slowly starting to cut and slice my wrist. My heart pounded faster, it pounded 1000 miles per. second, and I sobbed, throwing the razor into the tree door.
You won, Luke. You won over the demons, over the need to cut yourself again.
My angel in my mind suddenly spoke. And then my demon again.
You coward! Pick it up, and keep on cutting, for fuck sake!
No, it's not what he deserves, demon!
Yes, it is, angel!
I screamed, covering my ears. And just with the blink of my eyes, I heard very well and all too known footsteps rushing and tripping on the staircase. "Babe! Luke!" The door burst open, and I looked into Ashton's eyes, all broken, tears running, blood dripping down my only half cut wrist circle. Ashton closed the door, and rushed over to me; I needed to feel safe, I needed to know I was safe. And Ashton was my safety. I rushed, leaped, into his arms; I felt safe the minute his arms held me close, his hands supporting my bum, my arms wrapped around his neck.
I sobbed, and saw blood running onto his white t-shirt - the sight made me sob and break down more. "Sshhh babe, baby boy, easy.. Shh... I'm right here, Luke.. Right here..." He forced me to look at him, his index finger under my chin. I tried to look away, but he wouldn't let me do it. And inside I knew why, but I just kept fighting to look away; but I gave up, and let the tears in my eyes run free.
"Baby, you're strong. And this has happened once before, and if I know you right, you're thinking 'he hates me, and Ashton's pissed at me' no, I'm not pissed at you, and I don't hate you - never in a million years would I imagine to hate you for this - I've been through the same. Exact same. And our baby is okay. It's no mistake that you're pregnant, or that you've become pregnant. Michael is excited, Calum's excited. We're excited. We'll get through this, together."
He spoke the truth, and I broke down once again, this time tears of joy. I finally felt safe with the only one who could make me feel safe.
His words always help me. And so does our little baby inside my stomach, who kicks when it knows I need comfort from both Ashton and him.
